Fear
by Natfanfirst
Summary: AU. Natalie has moved to Philly and is up against a serial killer. Fate leads her back to John but will her old lover or the psycho who is stalking her let them be happy? Read and see.
1. Chapter 1

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**Chapter 1**

Natalie was sitting up on the roof of the apartment building she had been living in for the last six months, there was a slight chill in the air and she wrapped her arms around herself tight to try and stay warm. She graduated today, today she finally received her degree, and she finally finished her degree, the one she started what seemed to be ages ago. She should be happy, happy that all her hard work these last six months paid off but she wasn't, she was happy that she accomplished something but unhappy at the same time, she was alone.

Natalie Buchanan was alone the day she left Llanview, she left her home, she left her life, she left her family and most of all she left the man she loved. Her soul mate or so she used to call him, or so she used to believe.

She came here, here to Philadelphia, attended the local college, took her classes and set out to do what she told herself, what she was determined to do, to finish, and finish with flying colors to boot. She was taken into the forensics tech program here in Philly as she continued to study, it was such an accomplishment, Philly wasn't like Llanview USA, it was dark and dirty at times, there was a lot of crime, certainly a lot more than there was at home.

Natalie never went home in the past six months, and no one ever came, not even her family, she saw Bo today for the first time in the past six months but that was it, she even saw Rex a few times but everyone else... they were again to wrapped up in their own stuff, their own problems to worry about strong Natalie, Natalie who could handle anything, she had handled anything but she didn't feel oh so strong anymore, she felt weak, weakness that came from missing them, her family and missing him.

Life had gone on well for the past six months although she longed for home and for him. For him to chase her this once, to come find her, he didn't, but somehow.. Somehow things were different, or were they? According to Rex he had found his Dad's killer and it didn't help, he was still brooding, still miserable, still going thru the motions of life and not participating.

Natalie walked over to the edge of the roof to look down at all the lights, all the quiet when she heard a familiar voice and she turned.

"Hey" he said softly as he approached her

"Hey" she answered back as she turned to see him, he was beautiful and she knew it, everyone knew it, every woman at the station and even a few of the men knew it too.

In front of her stood a gorgeous man, shaggy sand colored hair and the most beautiful green eye's she had ever seen, well shaved and well kept up complexion, beautiful was the only world she could use for him and his appearance.

"It's the middle of the night, we've got work tomorrow, what are you doing up here all alone?" Jake asked her as he approached her shirtless with his muscular built and his six-pack Abs, he was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms that she had kept for him at her place.

"What I always do up here, thinking"

"You wanna be alone again don't you?" Jake asked as he walked towards the door.

"I was thinking about my family again, my home town, how know one has even bothered to come see me, to know what I've been doing, how life has been to me, that I even did it, finished, no one is even proud of me"

"That's not true Nat and you know it, your Uncle seemed proud of you today...I'm extremely proud of you, you are one of my best forensic techs. Your work is precise, accurate, you are probably by far the best forensic tech in all of pa, and I'm not just saying that cause we're sleeping together and cause I'm falling in Love with you, I'm saying it cause it's true."

"Jake, I..."

"I know, I shouldn't have tipped my hand, I shouldn't have told you about Loving you but I just can't help it, I promise I won't say it again, not another word. Now come back to bed, so we can finish celebrating you being the smartest in your class and for helping me break the Red Wine killer case yesterday"

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John sat on the roof above the Angel square hotel, he had a six pack and he was doing what he was doing for the last six months, just barely breathing, he thought once he found his fathers killer he would alright, he would feel fixed but he didn't, he just didn't have that guilt hanging over him, there was another guilt there now, now in it's place, a worse guilt, a worse feeling. She was gone to him, she left while he was in Thailand trying so desperately to put his life back together for her, so he could finally be with her, so he could finally open up to her the way he so desperately wanted to, the way he so desperately needed to. He had loved her for so long, mostly from a far, mostly when he couldn't and mostly when he didn't deserve to feel, to feel the way she always made him feel.

John took another slug of his beer and paced around a bit, he knew why he was so restless tonight, Bo had told him she was graduating today, finally finishing up her degree, finishing up with flying colors, top of the class as Bo so proudly said when he told him. Bo was taking the ride to be there, he asked if he wanted to come but he said no. How could he see her now, now after six months, six months when he had just finally adjusted to not seeing her at least once a day in passing, now that he had just gotten over the fear of not knowing where she was every second of everyday, the fear that she might be in danger somewhere and need him, the fear that she didn't miss him, the fear that she found someone else, the fear that she might never be coming home, coming home to him, the fear that she might never forgive him for not coming after her, the fear that... well... that she just didn't know how much he loved her.

" It was nice that you uncle came today wasn't it? I mean.. I know it's not the same as the rest of your family or even.. well.. even John but it was something wasn't it?" Jake asked her as he snuggled up close to her in bed.

"Yeah, it was something, my uncle Bo is.. He's the best, he's really been the one person who has never let me down"

"Yeah, he's a great guy, would've liked to been able to speak with him a bit more, would've been nice if you introduced me as someone other than your boss, other than your mentor but..."

"I'm tired, lets just sleep"

"What about John.. He ever let you down Nat? I know there's more than what you've been telling me, I know you don't tell me all of it"

"Sleep Jake, sleep, we've got an early shift tomorrow, I really don't want to talk about things right now"

"You never want to talk about things"

"No pressure, remember, none, those were your words, yours not mine"

'Yeah well... not sure that will do anymore, I didn't expect this thing to go beyond a few nights of sex, didn't expect to be falling...'

"Say it again and you can leave" Natalie threat end as she sat up

"I'm going," he said and sat up, he started to walk away and she grabbed his arm.

"Don't go, I don't want to be alone" she told him as she looked into his eyes

"Make up your mind Nat, do you or don't you, one minute you want to be left alone, the next you don't want me to go. I'm going back to my place tonight, decide, make up your mind, let me know at work" Jake told her as he got completely out of bed, got dressed and left her sitting on her bed caught up in thought.


	2. Chapter 2

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**Chapter 2**

Natalie walked into the Philly police department she smiled and waved hello to a few officers that she passed in the hall, she saw him in his office and she knocked on his door.

"Hey, can I come in?" she asked softly as he looked up from his desk and into her bright blue eye's. He nodded that it was all right and she entered the room, closing the door behind her.

"I guess you've made you decision" he told her as he saw her close the door

"What? Oh, last night, no, I haven't... I haven't made any decisions well, yeah, I've made a decision but not.. I mean." Natalie said getting disgusted with herself for acting like a schoolgirl, tongue-tied.

"I'm going home for awhile, I'm taking a leave of absence"

"You are?" he asked and she nodded as he got up from his desk and walked near her

"But why? Because of last night? I mean, just cause things are tense between us doesn't mean.. Doesn't mean I want you to go, I.. I need you here, the.. the department needs you here"

"It's not because of last night, and it's not because of you...us... it's me, I've gotta go back, I've tried to ignore it but I.. I.. miss them, my family. Although they haven't really taken the time to be here for me, I still miss them."

"You miss them with the way they treat you? Are you sure this is about your family and not some detective?"

"Jake, this is about me! Only me! No one else, not you, not John, no one else!" Natalie said raising her voice, she didn't want to have this conversation, not now; she wanted and needed for him to understand.

"It's always about you isn't it Nat, never about me" he said bitterly and then started pacing in front of her looking at her coldly.

"I'll put you on leave but I can't guarantee your job will be here when you get back" he told her as he left his office.

Natalie let out a sigh, that didn't go well and she knew it, she also knew he was all talk, after her visit with her family she'd be back and when she came back her job would be here. She was the best, he did say that himself didn't he, she did learn from one of the best, didn't she, she learned from him.

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John walked into the station and pretty much ignored everyone who he walked pasted, he was in a shit mood again and everyone knew it by the look on his face, the look they were getting use to, the look that could kill if it was possible. John walked over to Bo's office and knocked on the door. Bo was on the phone and waved John to come in. John walked in and within a few minutes he was off the phone.

"Hey, just checking in to see how the Jones arraignment went yesterday?" John asked but that wasn't the truth, he knew Bo didn't go to the arraignment he went to Philly to see Nat.

"John, you know I didn't go to the arraignment"

"Oh, yeah, that's right I forgot" John said and he knew Bo didn't by it.

"She looks good, really good, in shape, she finished top of her class, been working with the Philly PD, I met a few of her superiors and a few of her friends, she's really good John, really good" BO told John what he was fishing for, info, info on Natalie.

John's heart sank further into his chest as he heard Bo say she was so good, good at her job and looking good, did that mean she was Happy? He asked himself.

"She's happy then, I'm glad" John told him and he saw Bo make a face.

"What was that for?" John questioned Bo's negative face

"Nothing"

"You don't think she's happy, do you?" John asked Bo, knowing from passed experience what that face he made was.

"I didn't say that John"

"No but that's what you think, isn't it?"

"Yeah, she's miserable and I can tell, but then again, so are you"

"I'm always miserable that's who I am, why isn't she happy? Is she having problems at work? Are there other things not making her happy?"

"Not really sure but... well if I had to guess it's because she misses everyone, the family but she'll never come right out and say it, it doesn't help that they don't have anytime to bother with her. I was the only one that showed yesterday, I'm sure that hurt, and I'm sure there are other things that are bothering her"

"You were the only one that showed?" John asked and BO nodded his head

"Unbelievable" John said walking around the room mad, how could they not be there for her on that day, such an important day, something she worked so hard for. Something that she wanted so badly and that she put her mind to and accomplished. He shook free of the resentment he felt for them.

"What's the other thing?"

"Do you really have to ask John?" Bo asked him and then his intercom rang, he pushed the button to talk to Ann, his assistant

"Commissioner, you have someone waiting for an interview for the forensics position," Ann told him and Bo got a weird look on his face.

'Ann are you all right? You know we finished up those interviews last week"

"Sir, I think you might want to come out and see this one" Ann told him with a slight chuckle to her voice.

John and Bo exchanged looks and then they both walked out to see a crowd of officers huddled around Ann's desk. John grew impatient that his officers were slacking off.

"Hey, this isn't a coffee break" he shouted as the officers cleared a path as they left one by one. When they all moved John had to blink twice to make sure the beautiful site in front of him was real.

"Hey Darling" Bo said as he went over to hug Natalie with a big smile on his face.

"I just saw you yesterday, here for a visit already?"

'Yep, we finished up a big case and thought now was the best time for a visit" she said smiling as he continued to hug her, Natalie looked behind him as he hugged her and saw John standing there in a state of shock. They locked eyes for a few moments till BO pulled Natalie out of the hug.

"See, I knew all that hinting around to how much you've been missed in Llanview would work, and it's true, you've been missed, isn't it John?" Bo told her and then directed his attention to John as he asked the last question.

John stood dumbfounded, he didn't know what to say, she was here, she was home in Llanview, she was standing in front of him, damn! She looked so good, he told himself as he heard Bo put him on the spot and look at him, they both looked at him. He could barely get the words out, but he somehow, softly managed to.

"Yeah, it's... true" John finally said as he watched her become just as uncomfortable as he. Bo's cell phone went off in his pocket and he excused himself for a moment as he went back into his office to take the call.

Natalie walked closer to him, not saying a word, she was waiting for him to open up the conversation, a conversation that wasn't needed, words weren't needed with them, not all the time, although once in awhile it would've been nice to hear a few but that wasn't them. Words never were really there thing, eye contact, that was them, their connection, the way they could just look at each other, stare blue eye's to blue eye's and know what the other was thinking, feeling, well.. Most of the time anyways.

Several Moments passed and John felt as if he could finally form a few more words.

"How long are you back for?" He asked the first thing on his mind, actually the second the first thing on his mind was to grab her, kiss her hard, hold her and never let go again. That he knew wouldn't go over so well at this point and time so he asked the second thing on his mind, the time frame he had, the time he had to not be afraid. To not be afraid she was out somewhere away from him getting hurt or... or well falling in love.. or.. maybe just living, living the way he was living.

"I've got a week, a day here or there, if something important comes up back in Philly I'll have to cut it short" Natalie lied about that last part, it was a precautionary measure, if things weren't going good here with her family, with him, she thought that to herself and she couldn't believe that she did. She had been telling herself she was back cause she missed her family, she even told Jake that before she left but now, now she was thinking he might be the real reason she came back, he might even be the real reason she might stay, his damn Blue eye's and shoulder length hair, Damn Him! She yelled at herself inside, Damn him for looking just as good if not better than he did the day she decided to leave.

They stood silent for a few minutes when Natalie began to smile, John looked behind him and Saw Dr Crosby approaching.

"Natalie!" he exclaimed as he approached her and gave her a hug.

"How the heck are ya? You look great" Crosby smiled from ear to ear as he looked over at John, John got a pissy look and knew he'd be sniffing around him later wanting to discuss what this meant to John, what Natalie coming back to town, even if for a visit meant to John, for John.

"I'm Good, and yourself" Natalie asked him

"Good also, Your Uncle has kept me up to date on you, you've really done it Huh? Put your mind to it and just do it like that, just a little to easy makes it seem like there isn't anything you couldn't do in Life or get in Life"

"Thanks, but I wouldn't go as far as anything I couldn't get in life" she said sort of quiet like as she looked at John briefly


	3. Chapter 3

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**Chapter 3**

Natalie continued to smile at Dr Crosby as he smiled back at her. He released her from the hug and reminded her to come and see him again so they could talk. Natalie watched him walk away as he glanced at John, smiled briefly at the brooding look he gave the Dr and Crosby chuckled as he went on his way.

Natalie was still feeling uncomfortable with standing so close to John and with unspoken words that she had building up in her mind, words and questions, that she wanted to ask so bad but felt out of place saying them, asking them, why was this so hard for her? She asked herself, why was this so hard for them? To be near each other now and not feel comfortable, at ease, if nothing else, this was John, a friend, a good friend, even if things had changed with them loving each other, which she knew deep down inside it hadn't at least for her it hadn't. It just shouldn't be this hard for them now, now only six months later.

John stood mere inches from her, the woman he loved, and the woman who scared every inch of his being. She was finally here and in person, six months had passed, six months of dreaming about her and her coming home and yet... yet he couldn't bring himself to feel comfortable with her, he couldn't bring himself to speak, to ask, to talk, to tell her, tell her what he hadn't been able to before.

John shook his head and knew he wasn't going to let this opportunity pass him by like t he rest, like all the others, he opened his mouth and was about to speak when she too started to speak at the same time. Realizing that they both spoke over each other they looked at each other and smiled, laughed even. For that split second all the awkwardness was gone, it was comfortable, they were comfortable, they were them.

"Go ahead say what you were going to say" she told him with a smile still plastered on her face. She knew she was still smiling and she tried to make herself stop but she just couldn't, did she really want to? She questioned herself as she heard him speak.

"I..I just wanted to tell you that... that I heard.. ummm.. heard from Bo that you finished, finished your schooling, and with flying colors so he stated quite proud"

"Yeah, I did, it was pretty hard work, really challenging but it feels good to have been able to accomplish what I set out to do, it .. It feels good inside" she told him still in their comfortable state, he watched her as she spoke, her bright smile was still in tact, the wide bright smile she got when ever she talked about something that made her happy, the smile he loved, loved to see on her face when she use to talk about pool, when she use to talk about him.

They stood frozen for a few more minutes, just staring into each others eye's, their eye's that when they were locked together shut out the world, as if no one, nothing else existed but the trance they were put into by their eye's. John smiled as he watched a piece of her red hair fall in front of her face, without thinking, without words at first, he walked closer as if a magnet was pulling him to her, he brought his hand up and pushed the hair away from her eye's so they could continue to stare blue eye's to blue eye's.

"I'm proud of you" John said softly, Natalie heard him but didn't acknowledge hearing him.

"What?" she asked needing to hear him say it again, needing to feel his warm breath on her skin as he spoke again within inches of her face.

"I'm really proud of you Natalie, I really am" he again said and she could have sworn he was going to lean into her and kiss her, and she knew if he did she wouldn't refuse him access to her mouth again, to her heart again.

John was so close, extremely close to her, he wanted to touch his lips on hers, he wanted to be closer, he leaned in and.. and.. he saw her lean in to, which he knew was a good sign, they leaned in till they heard someone clear their throat, they backed up away from each others lips and to Nat's surprise their was John's stalker, the person who always seem to be working at the police station although she was a defense attorney.

"Evangeline, nice to see you " Natalie told her as she just looked between her and John.

"Nice to see you to Natalie, you look good"

"Thank you and so do you"

"Well that's because I have a real man that takes care of me" Evangeline said as she looked towards John.

"Oh, well that's great, so happy for ya" Natalie said in a snide tone since she felt Evangeline was trying to get some sort of message across, was she trying to make a point to her or to John? Natalie shook her head not really giving a shit what lecture the whiner was giving.

"Well you should be, Christian and I are in Love, he has the capacity to feel love, to express love, to ----"

"Oh, you know what that's great for you guys, so happy, I just don't have that much time for the sermon today, have a great day and give Chris my Love.. Oh wait sorry about that, wouldn't want to give him the wrong impression if you told him that he might come sniffing around again, just tell my Ex husband I said Hi!" Natalie said and started to walk away a bit from Evangeline, she smiled as she saw John walk behind her chuckling to himself as Evangeline walked off steaming.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it" Natalie told John as she faced him, they both laughed and the intense staring was about to start again when Natalie broke eye contact this time. She slightly looked down and then walked away from him a few feet so not to be tempted with him being so close.

"It was nice seeing you John but.. I've gotta go"

"I understand, you seeing your family?" he asked and she nodded.

"Good, are you staying with them?"

"No, I'll probably be staying at the hotel"

"Angel square Hotel?" John questioned with a sneaky smile that he couldn't hide even if he tried.

" Of course, did ya think I would've changed that much as to stay at the Palace?"

"Had hoped you hadn't" John told her

Natalie was starting to become uncomfortable a little again, she needed to get out of there before things started taking a turn for the worse or even worse than that, for the better.

"Well I guess I'll see ya around" she said as she walked passed him and headed for the door of the station, he ran up behind her as she was trying so desperately to make her way out without.. Without showing her hand, showing what she hadn't realized was obvious, obvious to everyone in the station, that she was still very much John's, and He was hers, in their hearts. They still loved each other and to anyone watching them interact, they would know.

"Hey, before you go.. How about pool later? I mean if .. if you have time.. Wanna play some pool?" he asked her shy and vulnerable. She looked at his face, his shyness that she loved so much. She thought about saying no, but she didn't want to, she loved playing pool with him. She loved him.

"You know what? I would love to play pool sometime later"

"Great! Wait. You do mean you'd love to play pool with me later, right?" John was excited at first but then got a bit insecure, Natalie laughed at his insecurity; she shook her head and started to walk away again before she spoke.

"Yeah, with you John, of course with you" she said as he called back to her before she was completely out the door.

"Seven o'clock Rodi's?"

"See ya at seven" she told him as she was almost out in the parking lot.


	4. Chapter 4

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**Chapter 4**

Natalie left the police station and walked over to her car, she got a strange feeling come over her, a feeling of being watched and she turned around to see if anyone was there, she turned back around and shook her head. "Just my imagination again" she told herself out loud as she got in her car and drove to Llanfair.

John watched her walk to her car and get in, prior to that she seem to turn for some reason and he paid no mind to it. He smiled as he saw her car drive off, he continued to stay just staring into space when Dr Crosby started walking towards him with a smile of his own on his face.

"So" Crosby said looking at his smile, even Crosby's appearance couldn't get him to break the mood, the happy mood he was in, the happy mood she put him in by being back.

"So what?" John answered him a bit snide but still never a fading smile

"Just wondering how come you're so happy all of a sudden Lt."

"You know why and I'm not going to let all your questions change my mood "

"Very good Lt. you really have made some progress, haven't you?" Crosby continued to smile at John, John looked at him this time, he laughed slightly.

"So are you going to tell her, tell her what you've admitted in our sessions, in our talks?"

"I don't believe this is a schedule session doc, actually don't believe I'm ordered to talk to you any longer Crosby, so you'll just have to go on being curious now won't you?" John told him chucking a bit and walked away from him.

Natalie sat outside of Llanfair nervous, really nervous, she debated ringing the doorbell, she debated running away, she debated even going back to Philly. She was nervous cause she hadn't really heard from her family in a while, she didn't know how anybody was, Rex had tried to mention a few things that were going on but she stopped him before he even mentioned anything, if they hadn't cared enough to keep her in the loop then she didn't want to know anything about what was going on in their lives. She turned about to walk away when the door opened and Jessica carrying a baby girl started walking towards her.

"Jess" Natalie said as she approached her and the baby.

"Wrong, now get out of my way" Tess told Natalie, Natalie realized as soon as she opened her mouth who it was, that it wasn't Jess, it was Tess.

"Nope, not going anywhere and neither are you" she told Tess. Tess was about to open up her mouth but the baby started crying, and crying very loudly. Natalie watched as Tess kinda freaked, she got all nervous about the baby and started to move around quickly to get her to stop, but the baby didn't.

"What's her name?" Natalie asked and Tess was reluctant to answer but did anyways, the crying was going right to her head and it was starting to hurt.

"Kayla"

"Can I hold her?" Natalie asked almost afraid that Tess was either going to say no or that she was going to run with her but instead Tess handed her over.

Natalie held Kayla, the baby started to calm from all the screaming she was doing as Natalie touched her face.

"Now that's she calm lets go inside and talk, and don't tell me no" Natalie told her, Tess who was in the process of being integrated did what Natalie told her.

Natalie spent most of the day at Llanfair, she got to see most everyone, they all apologized for not coming to see her graduation and even for keeping in touch, her mom even explained to her how bad things were with Jess' integration and that since Natalie seem to be doing so well they just didn't want her to feel guilty for not being here. Vicky had gone on to tell her about everything, all the issues with Kevin and Kelly, Antonio, Nash, even things about Dorian and her dad, things that she just couldn't believe, all screwed up things that she couldn't believe happened in only six months that she was gone.

After catching up for quite a few hours Natalie said goodbye to everyone and told them she'd see them tomorrow, she left Llanfair and drove towards Rodi's. She was feeling nervous, nervous about playing pool with him, she thought. That was just ridiculous, she was never nervous when it came to pool, she pulled up at Rodi's and realized she was almost a half an hour late.

John had been sitting in a back booth waiting for Natalie since way before seven, they were suppose to meet at Seven to shoot some pool but he was so excited about it, about them spending some time together that he got there early. He kept looking at his watch, she was almost a half hour late and it was fading, fading quickly, his optimist, his smile from earlier, the one that had been on his face all day since he saw her. He was just about to get up and leave when he saw her rush into the bar; she went up to the bartender and spoke to him for a few minutes as she looked around trying to find him.

John got up the minute she ran into the bar in a rush, he walked closer to her when he saw her turn and see him.

"You ready to play?" he asked her as he saw her smile.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I'm ready if you are," she told him and they started walking towards the table, they played three or four games before they decided to take a beer break. They sat in the back booth and just talked, talked about nothing at all, but every word the other spoke was the utmost of importance. John had asked how things went with her family and he could see she almost wanted to cry with the question.

"I'm, sorry, was it that bad"

"No, well.. Yes, NO, it's just.. Things are badly screwed up, really screwed up, I mean..Tess is in charge of a six month old baby that she can't handle, Mom has been morphing back into Nicki smith at times, my brother Kevin is a drunken, Kelly left him, and get this. Well you may already know this, my dad; he's seeing Dorian Lord. What the hell is he thinking? I've only been gone six months and it's like all hell broke loose, My mom apologized for not being there for me, for not telling me anything was going on and she explained it was for me, what they thought was best for me, and you know what? I think they may have been right, I wouldn't have stayed and finished up school if I would've known all of this shit was happening, I would've come back and not been able to help anyways. " Natalie said all that rambling on, and on, and John just listened carefully, listened to every beautiful sounding word that came out of her mouth.

"I think I'm so much better off in Philly, not sure I could've, can handle all of this" Natalie told him and she saw his face drop for the first time tonight.

"John?" she questioned his sudden change in attitude

"Do you really think that? That you're better off in Philly than home here?'

"I.. I don't know.. I mean.. I was just saying that, I think I just meant that things are a mess right now so, maybe I'm better off not being here to deal with it, I'm just not as strong as I was back then John"

"That I don't believe," he told her as he started the staring, as if to stop her from doubting herself, doubting his wisdom on her. Natalie blinked at first as the blue met blue but then steadied her eye's to stay focused and straight ahead on him.

John watched as her eyes looked into his soul, they didn't speak for a few minutes and then he mumbled out loud what he was thinking in his head.

"Man, I missed those eye's" he said out loud and never even realized he said it to her. Natalie smiled at seeing that he didn't know that he spoke.

"I've missed yours too," she said softly and for a moment he got confused but then.. Then he just didn't care about the confusion, he got up out of his seat, she stood, he walked closer, he brought his hand around her waist and was about to kiss her hard, just like he use to, just like he had been dreaming about all these months, he moved in closer, Natalie wet her lips in anticipation and then they were yet again interrupted.

"Excuse me, excuse me" the waitress said as she had a feeling she was interrupting. John took his hand off her waist realizing for the first time that they weren't alone, that they were in a public spot; they had been so tuned into each other that they both forgot for a few minutes.

"Are you Natalie?" the waitress asked as both John and Nat gave her a look of annoyance.

"Yeah, why?"

"I was told to give this to you" the waitress told her and she handed her a glass of red wine.

"What?" Natalie asked sharply as she got edgy.

" A man asked me to give this to you" the waitress answered, seeing the intensity in Natalie build up.

"What man? Where is he? What did he look like?" Natalie asked as she canvassed the bar with her eye's looking for someone strange to stand out, anyone to stand out, this was getting weird, really weird. John saw her seriousness and he listened closely as the waitress answered her questions.

"I.. I'm not sure what he looks like, this.." the waitress went behind the bar as Nat and John followed. The girl took out a note on a napkin; there was also a twenty-dollar bill with the napkin.

"I found it on the bar a few minutes ago"

"Do you remember anyone, what the man that was here before you found the note looked like?" the waitress said no.

"Nat, what's going on?" John questioned as he saw her pick up her cell phone and start dialing.

'It's probably nothing but I need to make sure" she told him as she held the phone to her ear waiting for an answer.

'Hey"

'Hey babe, I'm glad you called, I wanted to apologize for the way I acted in my office this morning"

"Jake, that isn't why I called, I just had a question about Bison, is he still in put away safe and sound?" she asked Jake as John stood a few feet away, he listened to her first words and wondered what this Jake thought she had called about.

'He's still in Jail, why? What's up? Is something wrong?" Jake asked her on the phone.

'Okay, thanks, No nothing is wrong, just being paranoid"

'Are you sure? Not like you to be paranoid without reason"

'I'm fine Jake, talk to you soon" she said and hung up the phone before he even got a chance to say goodbye. She looked up and saw John still staring at her, she walked a little closer and started to open her mouth but her phone rang. She stared into his eyes for a brief second before she looked away and answered her phone.

"I told you I was fine" she said nastily into the phone, maybe she shouldn't have answered it but she knew he wouldn't stop calling it till she did, and if she turned it off, he might think something was wrong and come here, she definitely wanted Jake to stay in Philly.

John again listened closely to her words, her conversation to this Jake person on the phone.

"I just got a weird feeling, something didn't add up, there is no problem, I promise, I would tell you if there was something to tell"

"Natalie we need to talk about us"

"I know, when I get back, I promise you we'll talk when I get back"

"Why can't we talk now? Are you with someone? Are you with John?"

"Jake, I thought I made it clear I don't want to talk about this now, when I get back"

"Are you coming back Natalie?'

"Of course I'm coming back, my life is there isn't it, my work" Natalie told Jake in the phone as she turned and walked away from John briefly.

"He is there, with you isn't he?"

"Stop being so paranoid Jake, It's been a long day for me, you are acting like a jealous boyfriend or something"

"Maybe that's because I am!" Jake shouted into the phone, actually he shouted so loud John could hear him loud and clear, John had followed behind her when she had walked away a few minutes ago. She knew he was behind her but she was really trying to calm Jake down so that he would know she was all right.

"Jake, please, when I get back home, we'll discuss everything, everything, you and I, how we want to proceed with things when I get back to Philly"

John heard her call Philly home, his day long smile was being deflated and fast, then he heard her say something about them discussing how to proceed, he saw her get a stubborn face on and he again listened closely.

"You are with him aren't' you? Are the two of you in bed right now?"

"Good God Jake, you're being an ass! I'm not in bed with him, I'm not in bed with anyone and even if I was.. It's none of your business! We are not in Love remember" Natalie screamed at him into the phone before even realizing that she was tipping her hand, John now knew about Jake, Jake always knew of John. She had wanted to so avoid this, avoid the fear that she knew would come with this situation.

"You may not be in Love Natalie but I am!" Jake screamed so loud this time Natalie had to pull the phone from her ear or she might go deaf.

"When are you coming home?" Jake asked softly as he realized his temper got the better of him.

"In a week, I'm sorry, we can talk then, don't worry so much, good night" Natalie told him as she was about to hang up.

"Be careful" Jake told her

'You too' she replied, hung up the phone and turned to John, who was staring at her back.

Nat studied his eye's for a few minutes, as he studied hers, it was gone, the brightness that was there earlier in each of their eye's, it was gone. They both knew the happiness the joy of seeing each other today may have been over.

John finally got up enough nerve to asked the question he wanted to ask but before he asked it she answered it.

"He's sort of my boyfriend, he wasn't happy I was coming back, he's not to happy that I can't open up to him, not particularity happy that I don't love him the way he loves me. It was suppose to be casual, this thing between us, nothing more than that but somewhere along the way.. It became more for him but not for me," she told him as she opened it all up for him; she was probably more open than she ever was.

" I think I need some sleep, this opening up thing is exhausting," she said trying to make a bit of a joke. John didn't laugh, he just studied her eyes, and he thought, he thought as without words they moved outside in the parking lot to leave.

"Let me drive us back to the hotel, you seemed pretty freaked back in there, what was that all about?"

"Nothing really, probably just something stupid, I thought maybe the red wine thing had t o do with a case we just finished but the guy is still in Jail so I was freaked for nothing"

'Are you sure it was nothing?" John asked as he unlocked her side of his car. Natalie just ignored the question of her being sure it was nothing, as much as she would have loved to tell him she was sure there just was something about what happened tonight that bothered her, and she just couldn't put her finger on it. Nat chose to ignore it for now.

Natalie took a seat in his car and automatically got comfortable in the seat, she put her head back against the seat and closed her eye's briefly for a few seconds, she was exhausted, and she hadn't been sleeping well the past few weeks, hell the past few months, hell the past six months. John saw her eye's start to flutter as he started to drive, he smiled, she always fell asleep in the car, they had taken a few car rides to Ac and stuff awhile back, a long time ago actually and she always almost fell asleep the minute her head moved back on the seat. He continued to see her fighting it; she was so stubborn, still so very stubborn.

"Don't fight it, sleep, I'll carry you in when we get to the hotel"

"No way Mcbain, you're not carrying me anywhere, I can stay awake, the hotel is just a few blocks away'

"You're almost asleep Natalie, don't be so stubborn, give in to it" he told her as he moved his arm over towards her, he drove with one hand and used his other to pull her close to him on the seat.

Natalie was really tired but then, then she felt his hand on her, pulling at her waist to move her closer to him, although she was waking up, waking up filled with.. with.. What was the word she was searching her brain for, a word that meant she wanted him; she longed for him, to hold him, to touch him, to.. to.., she shook her head clear, clear of what it was about to tell her. She decided that maybe it was best to be asleep, pretend to be asleep, then she wouldn't be tempted, she laid her head on his chest as he drove, he pulled his arm in around her even tighter and held her as he drove with one hand.

John felt it, it was unbelievable, it felt unbelievable to have her in his arms again, well his arm to be exact but none the less his arm was around her and she was resting on his chest, she seemed to be asleep and he brought his hand up to her face, he caressed it gently with the back of his hand as they approached the hotel. He turned off the car but didn't move he wanted to stay this way a bit longer.

Natalie had been awake this whole time, she felt him hold her tighter as if not wanting to let go, she felt his hand on her cheek, and then she knew they were at the hotel and she felt him stay in spot just holding her, she heard his words, the words he spoke thinking she was asleep.

"You don't realize how afraid I've been, afraid to Love you." John said as he smoothed her hair back on the top of her head, he looked at her beauty and he smiled, he smiled and saw her open her eye's, she stared back at him for only a second and then she moved herself up in his lap, she crawled herself over and up on his sitting position in front of the steering wheel of his car.

Natalie straddled him as she saw the look in his eye's, look of shock or was it something else, a look of longing to be touched that was mirrored in the blue, longing to touch each other, she didn't hesitate, she moved in with her mouth and her tongue and she kissed him. He was startled at first, for a second he almost thought she was dreaming, but then he heard her, her words and he knew he wasn't dreaming, this was real, so real, it was them, fear and all.

"Kiss me John, Kiss me long and hard like you use to" she said and he wasted not time analyzing it, he pounced on her lips long, long and hard just how she always liked it, just how she always wanted it, just how she still wanted and liked it.


	5. Chapter 5

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**Chapter 5**

"Ouch" Natalie said as they breathlessly continued to assault each other's lips.

"Are you alright?" he asked sort of with a chuckle as he saw her yet again hit her back on the steering wheel behind her, he had moved the seat completely back when she first sat on him but it wasn't able to go back any further. She didn't stop taking his lips urgently but he knew there was know way things were going further in this car.

John without words stopped kissing her, he smiled was he saw her open her eye's wondering why he stopped, he opened the car door with his hand and slid his body with her still on his lap out of the car, he stood and pulled her up on him as she wrapped her legs around him. Natalie was now kissing her way down his neck as he walked them closer to the door of the hotel, he peaked in thru the front window and no one was around, he quickly opened up the door and led them up towards his room.

As they came to the second floor, Natalie got herself down off of him, she stood in front of him, as they were in front of his door, John reached into his pocket for his keys with his hand and so did she.

Natalie put her hand in his pocket with his as he searched for his keys, she grazed his erection with her hand and she stared into his desire filled blue eyes. They stared for a second, no words were spoken to this point, no words were needed till this point. She stopped his hand from coming out of his pocket with the keys.

"No" Natalie said breathlessly

"My room, number 4, remember it" she asked and he smiled. He remember it alrightly, it was the room where they first kissed, the room that he occupied when he first knew he was in love with her, and when he knew in his heart their would never be another.

John walked Natalie backwards towards her room, he pushed her up against the door and she pulled out a key from her pocket, she brought it close to her chest for him to take and he did, also in t he process he purposely grazed her pointed nipple on her breast, he heard her let out a sigh and he smiled remembering how verbal she was when she was aroused.

John quickly unlocked the door and they pushed the door open with their bodies as they began the urgency again, the need again.

In the room John had her pinned up against the wall as he kicked the room door shut with his foot, he brought his hands on her waist and started running them up and down on her slides feeling her curves, feeling her beautiful body, his mouth held on to hers with every long, deep kiss, Natalie hands were in his medium length hair and she was pulling on it as he removed his lips from hers and they traveled. John's lips traveled to her neck, and were on a journey moving south as he heard her whisper.

"No" she said not being able to breath

"John, No" she said again and he continued to claim her neck with his lips. He felt her tense and then he stopped kissing her, he looked into her deep now tear filled eyes.

"I want you John, but I can't do this, it's not right" she told him as he continued to stare into her eyes'

"Nat" was all he said as he shook his head and released her from the wall, he didn't move away from her nor did she from him.

"I was an adulterer once John, without even knowing, I'm not a cheater John, I don't cheat, I may not Love him but for now.. It would still be cheating" she told him and he watched her eye's get even more filled with tears, a few tears escaped and he took his thumbs and wiped them away.

"I know, I know you're not, I wouldn't want you any other way," he told her as she said thank you with her eyes, after a few minutes she walked away from him and took a good look around the room. She smiled.

"We spent some good times in this room didn't we?" she asked as she looked at him, he smiled at her and shook his head.

"You saved me in this room a few times too" she said and he was quiet.

"You always save me' she told him as she saw the serious look on his face

"No, that's not true" he told her and slightly walked away from her for a minute, he turned and looked at her, straight blue eye's to blue eye's.

You've saved me just as much, maybe more" he told her as the intensity from the staring was a little to much to handle for John, he knew anymore staring and he might be tempted to push her to do something she didn't feel comfortable in doing. He moved over towards her bathroom.

"Come on you're tired, go get ready for bed and I'll tuck you in," he told her as he opened the bathroom door for her.

"I sleep in the nude John," she told him and she laughed to lighten the mood.

"You never use to" he said chuckling himself

"I guess if anything had to change, that was a good change," he told her and she laughed as she grabbed her nightgown out of the dresser.

Five minutes later she came out in one of the sexiest Nightgowns he had ever seen, it was as revealing as some he remembered she owned but.. But she just looked breath taking in it.

"You aren't making this easy on me Natalie, don't you have those kitty pj's you use to wear"

'Don't wear them anymore"

"Why not? Does your friend not like them?" he asked and he wished he hadn't, it came across snide and he didn't mean for it to, or did he subconsciously want it to come across that way.

"Come on, let me tuck you in before I leave" he said as he pulled the covers down. Natalie got into the bed and as soon as he pulled the covers over her she pulled them back down.

"It's not cheating to hold each other," she told him as she patted the bed next to her.

John didn't hesitate, he kicked his shoes off and climbed under the covers with her, pulled her to his chest and they snuggled comfortably as they drifted off to a sleep state.

John fell asleep easily as he smiled enjoying their closeness. He had missed her so much, so much more than he would ever have admitted to anyone, well actually he admitted it to one person, to Dr Crosby in one of there sessions.

It was pretty early when John woke, his arms never moved off her during the night and upon waking he pulled her in even closer, he gave her a slight squeeze to make sure she was real and he wasn't dreaming. He re-closed his eye's when he felt her warm breath on his chest, and as he felt her chest move up and down on him he sighed, a sigh of relief, a sigh that she was home, and that she still wanted and loved him, yeah there were a few obstacles for them to over come yet again but the main thing was still there, the love, the connection, the contentedness they both shared in each others arms, he shook his head slowly and knew, he knew that he would never be able to let her leave again, leave him, not without a fight she wouldn't, a fight , that if it came to it, he had all intentions of winning.

Natalie started to stir as she heard his cell phone ringing. John tried to quickly but calmly grab it off the nightstand next to the bed where he had put it last night before getting under the covers with her. He grabbed it, saw it was Bo and answered it while still holding her in place on his chest, he felt her waking and spoke quietly to Bo on the phone.

"Alright Bo, I'll be there in twenty minutes" he told Bo and hung up the phone, he placed it down on the nightstand.

"You've gotta go in?' she asked with her eye's closed and still half a sleep.

"Yep, in a few" he told her but didn't budge, he squeezed her tight after a few minutes passed, he didn't want to let go, especially when things seem to be going so well, they were connecting so well again, and they really did feel like there was nothing in there way, neither seemed bitter or upset with the other about the time that passed, it felt light and the feeling of being with her was amazing. He leaned his mouth down and kissed the top of her head before he climbed out of the covers and then out of the door as she continued to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**ABC owns them**

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**Chapter 6**

John walked around the murder victim wearing his latex gloves, he crouched down and studied the victim, a twenty five year old woman, she had brown her and was skinny built, around her was a liquid, he placed his finger into, brought it to his nose, red wine, he said out loud, he carefully took the bottle it had obviously come from, the bottle the killer placed in the girls hand. He looked at the label, it was cheap stuff he thought, he had seen it in the liquor store a few times, he called over a few of his officers and told them to bag the bottle and have it analyzed, he continued to look over the crime scene for another hour as he gathered anything from the park that seemed odd or out of place.

John was just winding down his canvassing when Bo called him on his cell, told him to meet him at Rodi's for lunch so they could discuss the case.

John walked over to Bo at a table and sat down, they discussed the case and Bo informed him that a Lt from Philly who had been working on a similar case was on his way over to discuss the case with him, to see if the two were connected.

Natalie was in the process of Making the bed, she had woken several hours ago but felt lazy this morning, she felt like just doing nothing but calling John and maybe spending time with him after he got of work tonight. She smiled as she fluffed her pillow, she brought it to her nose and could almost smell him on it, the soap he used with the distinct smell about it. She closed her eyes and remembered what it felt like to kiss him, to touch him, she shook her head getting excited by her thoughts, she quickly sobered from them when she wondered what she would tell Jake, and what exactly was going on, they hadn't talked, her and John, about what happened prior to her leaving, all the problems, the miscommunication, the hostility. She smiled, cause she just didn't care, she didn't want to care about all that, for the first time in a long time she felt good, she felt at home, comfortable. They would talk when they were ready but for now, for now she would be happy, he would be happy, he certainly seemed happy last night. If it was finally meant to be this time it would happen, they would work all the details out at a future date, she was more than happy living in the now with John, at least for the next week.

Natalie got dressed and was on her way to meet Rex at Rodi's for Lunch, they had arranged to meet today when she called him yesterday.

Bo excused himself and left John sitting alone at a table in the middle of Rodi's. They had discussed the case for a few minutes and then his phone rang.

John was deep in thought reading thru his preliminary reports on the Vic when he saw a tall, muscular man with sandy colored hair walk over towards him.

"Excuse me, the bartender told me commissioner Buchanan was at this table a few minutes ago." Jake asked John as Bo approached the table and them before John could say a word.

'Lt Harrison, nice to see you again" Bo told Jake as he motioned for him to have a seat. Jake thanked Bo and sat across the table from John.

"Lt Mcbain this is Lt Harrison, head of the homicide Department for the Philly Pd" Bo introduced the two men by their last names and neither had any idea who the other really was, or how much they both had in common.

"Lt Harrison here broke the Red Wine Killer case in Philly a few days ago, and I thought it best to see if maybe this was a copy cat or even if maybe by chance the wrong man was arrested." Bo told John and then Jake spoke.

"Well actually it was your niece who broke the case, she broke the case almost all by herself, and easily I might add, she was amazing to watch in action" Jake said and John felt weird, had a strange feeling that he ignored for a few minutes.

Natalie entered the bar and she noticed John and her uncle sitting next to each other and they seem to be speaking with someone sitting across from them but there was a few people in the Bar standing in her view of that side of the table she smiled and started to walk over to say hi when she stopped in her tracks a few feet away from them as she saw Jake was the person with them.

"So you work with Nat" John asked

"I'm sorry I should've mentioned that, John. Jake is Natalie's superior, they work very closely together" Bo said the words and upon hearing the first names used the others automatically realized who each of them were.

John sat shocked as he checked this guy out, really looked at him, he was definitely different than himself, he was clean shaved, short hair, he was continuing to watch the man who was about to speak when he and Bo both noticed Natalie standing frozen a few feet away from the table.

"Natalie honey, I'm glad you are here, we were just talking about you, Jake was just telling us how amazing you are" Bo told her and she tried to form words but couldn't, she walked closer to the table, smiled weakly as she turned to Jake. Jake looked at her.

"Lt Harrison, what brings you to Llanview?' she asked him as he stood, he smiled at her. Natalie's heart skipped a beat for a minute there she thought he was going to kiss her in front of John, in front of her uncle, she held her breath as he offered her his chair and moved over to a near by table to retrieve another.

Natalie sat in the chair Jake had given her an felt John's staring intensify, she sat across from Him and her uncle and she was pretty sure by now her uncle who wasn't a stupid man had the picture, understood her awkwardness.

Bo looked at his niece before he started to take the conversation back to the matter at hand.

"Natalie, I called the Philly Pd, Jake came to Llanview because if seems we either have a copy cat or the Red Wine Killer or it's possible the guy behind bars isn't the real guy." Bo told her and she closed her eye's briefly.

"Some one else was killed? Here in Llanview? I should have known; he was trying to send me a sign."

"What? Honey what are you talking about?"

"Bison, that's the guy in Jail, he's probably a set up, I should have known it came so easy, figuring it out, I should've known when the Red wine had been served to me last night"

"So you think he was sending you a sign when he had that waitress send you the wine last night?' John questioned and Jake picked up on it, he now knew she wasn't alone last night when she got that funny feeling about her.

"Yeah, it just seemed to weird, I never should have ignored it, we arrested the wrong guy, I'd bet money on it, I should've known I wasn't good enough nor had enough experience to catch that guy all by myself. He was a plant, a set up" Natalie said regretting everything about the case, doubting her skills.

Jake reached a hand over to hers and without realizing in front of Bo and John he placed it on top of hers. John noticed his hand on hers immediately, Bo also.

"Natalie, don't go there, you're good, really good, the best I've seen, you have a head and an eye for what you do, don't second guess yourself" he told her and she looked up at John after looking at his hand on hers. She quickly removed hers from his.

"I'd like to see the file, the file on the girl, I'd like to compare it to the others in Philly" Natalie asked Bo

"Natalie darling, it's our case now, let us handle it"

"I understand that uncle Bo but there has got to be a reason he's in Llanview, all the other murders happened in Philly, it doesn't add up that he just jumps a few cities in Pa and he so happens to pick Llanview, and at the same time I'm here for a visit"

"She has a point Bo," John told him and Bo reluctantly handed the file from on the table over to her.

"I'd like to see the murder scene, where was she found?" Natalie asked as she started opening the folder and looking thru it.

"The park Huh? Jake did you happen to bring the files on the girls from Philly?"

"Yeah, there in my car"

"Good, I'll take all the files with me to the scene, if that's alright Uncle Bo, I kinda feel responsible for this case, and since it seems the killer is here for me, went out of his way to help me close a major case, I really want to help on this one, please?" she told him and then begged a little to allow her to help.

"Nat, I don't think that's such a good idea" John told her as his fear set in again, fear of her being involved and fear that she was right that the killer was here in Llanview because of her.

"Well, I think it's an excellent idea, she's amazing to see at work" Jake chimed in as he smiled at Nat, Nat smiled back, what ever she didn't feel for Jake she sure did know that he believed in her. Not that she thought John didn't but.. but John was always so afraid she would do something stupid in the past, fear she would get hurt and that really was what forced her to leave all those months ago.

"Natalie, I really think you should stay out of this, this killer is going to target you at some point, let me take care of it, let me S-----"

"Save me? Is that what you were going to say John"

"No it wasn't"

"You've saved me enough in this life time John, I'll be fine, I can take care of myself. I need to make a call and then I'm heading to the park with or without any of you" she told them as she got out of her seat, she walked over to the bar and made a phone call to Rex telling him she needed to reschedule their lunch.

Bo, John and Jake stood silent for a few minutes as John and Jake sized each other up. Bo turned to them as he was standing and told them he was going back to the station.

"Jake, we would appreciate if you could stay around for a few days and help with the case, I'll call the department and talk to your boss." Bo said and then he opened up his mouth again.

"Play nice you two. I want no problems," Bo told the both of them as he left them alone.

"Nice to finally meet you John, Natalie talks so much about you, I feel like I already know you"

"That's funny, we spent the whole night together last night and she barely mentioned you' John told him back cocky. Jake wouldn't be baited into a pissing contest.

"Why don't we just get this out and in the open, shall we, then we can work together on this case without conflict." Jake told John and John nodded.

"I know who you are to Natalie, and with the look on your face you know who I am to Natalie, I won't be backing down, In about a week or so, she will be leaving Llanview and coming home with me, to me and to my department"

"I highly doubt that, this is Natalie's home and she will be staying and staying with me."

"Not sure what exactly you've heard about me but.. don't underestimate me, I won't be backing down from this fight, not now, not ever again, she is to important to me, I've already missed to much time with her" John told him as he continued to stare intently

"Now that we understand each other and where the other stands, is there anything else LT?" Jake asked

"Yes there is.. don't underestimate what Natalie feels for me, you haven't a clue what she and I share"

"You do mean shared, don't you?"

"Share" John said as they intensely stared as Natalie walked over. She looked back and forth between the two men, her two men, how the hell did she get herself in this position again. She asked herself

"I'm heading over to the murder scene," she announced as the both men got up and started walking with her.

"Not alone you're not," John said and he walked faster to catch up with her, Jake also caught up with her.

"I'll drive you"

"No, I'll drive her"

"No, she'll drive herself" she told them as she started to get annoyed, she looked between them for a minute and she knew she needed to talk to Jake, she needed to end things, it wasn't fair, fair to him because she was still in Love with John, and with what almost happened last night, she knew it definitely wasn't fair.

"Jake, you don't know Llanview well and we need to talk, ride with me" she told him and he smiled, John however didn't like the thought of them alone in a car, especially when his mind flashed back to what she was doing to him last night in his car. He tried to protest but she put up one hand, he backed down, she walked closer to him for a second.

"Why don't you go back to the office and see what you come up with as for why he dumped her in the park, please? I'll come to the station when I'm done and we can talk, alright?.. Jake won't let anything happen to me, I promise" she told him softly as she looked into his eye's, he relaxed when he saw her eye's shining at him, he nodded alright and everyone left Rodi's, even the killer.


	7. Chapter 7

**ABC owns them**

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**Chapter 7**

Natalie and Jake arrived at the murder Scene at the park; they didn't talk the whole way over. They drove in complete silence and got busy working side by side on the scene. Natalie took her own notes and did her job, Jake watched her and he shook his head, she was amazing at what she did, she was amazing. After they took there own notes Natalie drove them back to the Station.

When they arrived at the station Natalie didn't turn the car off, she turned to Jake.

"Lets talk here or do you want to do it in one of the interrogation rooms inside" Natalie told him as she saw his face, he wasn't stupid, he never pretended to be, he knew what was coming.

"Here is fine but.. but no beating around the bush, you no how I hate that, say what you've got to and then I'll say what I have to" he told her and Natalie got a look in her eye, wondering what it was he had to say

"Jake, I'm really sorry, sorry things with us..."

"Just say it Nat, say what's going on"

"Alright, there's no easy way to do this then, I'm still in Love with John, and he and I almost made Love last night, I wanted it Jake, I wanted him, I want him" Natalie watched as Jake got out of the car, he started pacing around it for a brief second as she joined him on the outside of the car. She shook her head as she watched him trying to process things; he had to have known that was coming? Right?

"Jake, I never meant to hurt you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't be what you need"

"What does that mean? What I need? You've always been what I need, whether you love someone else right now or not, you'll always be what I need and what I want, what I love" he told her and he saw her close her eye's.

"Jake, I can never be those things for you, I don't love you like that and I've been telling you that for awhile now"

"So this is over then, just over like that, what about work, what about Philly, are you leaving everything cause of him?"

"I don't know what's going to happen about work, about Philly all I know is it's not fair to you for me to be with you when I love someone else."

"So you and he, you're gonna go another round are you? It's definite then, the two of you will be together? What maybe get hitched one day, a few munchkins running around, a dog, a white fence, has he even committed to you yet, at all, ever?" Jake told her and he tried so hard not to lose control, but it was hard he knew in his heart John Mcbain would probably leave her empty again, discouraged like he did when she came to Philly in the first place.

"I don't know Jake, I...we haven't discussed things yet, it hasn't gotten that far yet"

"So what's gonna happen when he doesn't believe in you again, doesn't want you to be his equal, doesn't trust your judgment or trust you with his life."

"Jake please, I don't want this to get ugly, I care about you I have for a long time, probably since I first walked into your office but I don't want to lead you on. You were a great teacher, a great boss, a great boyfriend and an unbelievable lover, but... but I'm sorry I just don't Love you like you love me "

"But you will Nat, I promise you, you will someday love me back and like you love him, I won't give up till you do. I'm making you a promise today, I promise I won't be backing down, not today not ever that's how much I care about you, how much I love you, you say the word and I'll marry you on the spot, you want children I'll give them to you, I'll give you any commitment you want, can he give that to you? Is he willing, does he chase you Natalie? Are you going to have to do all the work again?"

"Jake please, for the love of God! It's over for now"

"For now?"

"I didn't mean to say that, it's over"

"For now then but I'll wait Nat, I'll wait and when he plays his selfish, none believing in you card, I'll be here for you, and I'll be ready to give you anything you want and need. You won't long for anything emotional, or physically and you know that" Jake told her and he walked away, he walked into the police station, he found an empty desk and sat at it and made a few phone calls.

Natalie followed Jake in a few minutes later, she looked at him on the phone and she gave him a glare that John could see from his office behind the desk Jake was sitting at. Natalie walked passed Jake and knocked on John's door, John stared straight ahead at her as she entered the room, she closed the door behind her and she looked up to see Jake's face as she did. She stared at him and then continued to make sure the door was closed. Natalie went over to the blinds on the window of the office, they were opened, she closed them.

John watched as she closed the blinds and then turned around to face him, he moved away from his desk and towards her, he could see she was upset, he put his arms out and she walked into them and let him hold her. After a few minutes Natalie pulled back, she looked into his eyes.

"Things didn't go well, I tried to end things"

"You tried?" John jumped on her words a bit testy

"I did end things with him, my end anyways, he basically said he'd wait for me, that you will screw it up, that I'll be the one chasing you again, and that with him I can have anything I want, that he loves me that much, he said he'd marry me on the spot if that's what I wanted, he'd give me kids, a home anything I wanted, he... he doesn't think you would do the same, the same for me, what he was really saying is that he thinks this is one sided, that you don't love me as much as I love you and... and.. you know what? He may be right"

"Natalie, he isn't right, he's trying to manipulate you "

"John give me a little credit will ya, I'm not stupid anymore, I can spot a con job or manipulation a mile away, you never give me any credit, you really do still think I'm stupid" Natalie said moving away from him. He grabbed her arms gently and made her stay in place and look at him.

"I'm proud of you Natalie, and I never thought you were stupid, not now, not ever"

"It's so easy to say you're proud of me and that you're afraid to love me but.. but I still have never heard the words, never been said and I guess that's where my doubts are coming from. I don't even know John, know if we want the same things anymore, do we have a future together, a life, babies and car pools'

"Is that what this is really about? You not knowing where you stand with me?"

"I.. I.. guess it is"

"Well then the door's locked, lets clear my desk, you want babies come on I'll give you one right now"

"What the hell!"

"No joking Natalie, none, I'm not being pissy either, lets just make love on my desk and you can have a baby if you want, I'll give that to you"

"You're being ridiculous now, I'm going to work on the case in the interrogation room" she said as she walked away from him heading for the door

"No you're not, you are going to stay right here, here with me till this is over, finished, till you have no more doubts, none" he said and he again grabbed her he brought his lips to hers almost violently and then eased up. The harsh kiss turned into a soft one as she kissed him back, she guided her hands to his hair, he pulled his lips off hers briefly, and he touched their foreheads as he spoke.

"I'm able to tell you them now, not like before you left, I know what I did by pushing you away, I know what it cost me, but I'm not going to do it again, I refuse to let you out of my life, and I would've liked to have a more special of a night planned when I told you for the first time but if you need them now, if you want them now... I Love you Natalie Buchanan, I've just been too afraid to say the words and now.. Now I'm too afraid not to say the words," he told her as she moved her forehead away from his, she pulled away from his face briefly to look into his eyes, hers were watery and a few tears escaped, she softly kissed him. After a few minutes he spoke again.

"Tell me what you want Natalie, cause I want it all with you, I love you and I want a life with you. I'd do anything for you and you should know that by now."

"John... I missed you so much, so much, I love you so much" she said as all the tears in her eye's came tumbling down her face. He pulled her near to his chest and held on


	8. Chapter 8

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**Chapter 8**

There was a knock on the office door, without pulling from the embrace John asked who it was thru the door.

"It's Jake, Forensics has something" Jake told John thru the door. John and Natalie pulled apart

"I'll be... we'll be right there" John said correcting himself, she was in this, she was good according to everyone so he was going to have to trust her, trust that she could take care of herself, he looked at Natalie, she had a few tears on her cheeks and he wiped them away for her, she brushed herself off like all the emotional garbage that just occurred hadn't happened, it was time. Time to work; time to show everyone, to show Llanview, to show John, just how good she was at her new profession.

"Are you ready?" he asked her as he saw her composing herself, she nodded and they walked to the door, Natalie put her hand on the lock but before she turned to open it he put his hand on hers and stopped her. Natalie looked at him, stared into his pools of blue.

"Wait" he told her

"What is it John, what's wrong?"

"I just wanted to tell you again, reinforce it, maybe make it stronger, maybe make you feel it stronger. I Love you Natalie, and ... and well..." John told her he loved her and then a shy bright smile formed on his face. She looked at him curiously.

" And if you want to really make babies right away I'm your guy" he said and she shook her head and couldn't help laughing. She kissed him quickly but softly and they opened the door and went in the squad room.

John and Natalie reached the squad room and saw Jake standing with Bo, they were quietly talking about something and she noticed they stopped when she got closer.

"What's going on?" she asked as she approached and noticed them. John was standing behind her and he too wasn't quite sure of the scene. He noticed there was a piece of paper on the table in front of them, it was unfolded and was a little bit soggy.

"What's that?" John asked, he saw Jake's face when he asked, was he upset about what happened with Nat, with their talk, with the fact that he knew John and Nat were in John's office alone with the door locked and the blinds shut, or was it something to do with the case.

"The ME gave Forensics the clothes the dead girl was wearing to examine, this" Jake said as he held up the unfolded note, the note was written with red ink that didn't smear or erase easily. Jake showed the note to John, John didn't touch it and he read it before he let Natalie see it. " They found this"

Natalie looked at him with curious eye's, she saw John's eye's get extra serious, their color changed almost to a dark blue and she knew that meant fear was setting in again.

"Where did they find this?" was all John could say as he studied the note that the killer obviously left for Natalie to find.

"It was in the back pocket of her jeans, not sure why your guys didn't find it before the ME but they didn't " Jake told John snidely getting a few digs in.

"Natalie probably would have found it if she was on the scene originally, I guess you are only as good as you've been taught" Jake again laid into John with a comment, John just shook his head knowing this had more to do with the fact that Natalie loved him and this guy was bitter, he had no time to get into yet another pissing match with this guy. He ignored him, he heard Natalie clear her throat and knew she wanted to see the note.

'Let me see, what does it say?" Natalie asked as John looked at her, he laid it down on the table, spread out and she looked at it, she read it over and over in her head and then out loud, to try and better understand it.

"I did it for you, all for you, you should have stayed close but now you're here and so am I, a glass to match your color hair" Natalie continued to repeat it, over and over.

"I guess its confirmation that he purposely followed me here, and the last line definitely means it is me he's talking about." Natalie told them as she walked around the room pacing, red wine, red wine she said over and over again, she kept trying so hard to put all the clues together, and she let out a breath as she became frustrated. She took a seat in front of the table, the others watched; Jake moved closer, he stood over her.

"So, what do you do know?" Jake asked Natalie as she smiled, she knew what he was asking, it was a little game they played, a learning game, he trusted her the minute she started working for him and she use to just take things over and not ask, do, not asking any questions so he would always ask her who was the student and who was the teacher, she would have to explain to him as if he was the student what would be the next course of action.

John saw Nat smile at Jake for a moment, even Laugh and as secure as he was because of their earlier conversation jealousy set into his body, his whole body became consumed with it as he heard them speak over the files from Philly, speak almost in riddles, private little jokes she and her teacher, the man that loved her and swore he wouldn't back down, private jokes they shared which he wasn't a part of, those things fueled his jealousy. John still stood back and watched as she looked over old clues with such curious eye's, she was so focused, he hadn't seen her this focused since the pool tournaments. Jake was right, she was good, amazing even; he smirked proudly as he watched her study every little bit of clues.

John began to look over the note the killer left for Natalie. He was finding it hard to concentrate cause every time he looked over at Nat sitting at the table Jake was behind her very close to her back, breathing his warm air on her, talking sweetly to her, he just couldn't get some of the things Natalie had told him he said out of his head, the things about him waiting for her, offering to give her anything she wanted and everything she wanted, telling her he'd marry her on the spot, what a fucking Jerk he was, john thought as he noticed Jake look at him, Jake smiled knowing his closeness to Natalie was bothering John but John wouldn't let Jake get the better of him. He ignored him and went on about his job.

About three hours later sometime after dinnertime Natalie finally pulled herself out of the files she had been studying so close for the past hours. She started pacing the floor, as if on to something.

'What is it Nat, talk it out babe" Jake said and John stood automatically at the word babe, who the fuck was this guy to be calling her babe, John got all pissed inside, he shook it off and walked closer as Natalie stopped pacing, she looked at John for the first time since she started working on the clue.

"He says he did it all for me, now it could mean a few things but. the date the murders started was the date I along with the other four.. I mean three forensic tech's finished our training, I don't want to seem vain here and maybe it's nothing but.. but.. my gut"

"Go with your gut babe, go with it" Jake told her and he smiled at john as if a kid sticking out his tongue, he realized before that calling Nat babe pissed John off beyond belief so he was going to continue it just to get under his skin.

"My gut says.. this is about me...all the murders. Is that possible? Of course it's possible " Natalie said answering her own question

"Now did he kill all those woman for me, so I could find them, did he set Bison up for the fall so I could be the one to break the case, what is his own motive in this?" Natalie said out loud and then she heard John speak softly.

"What?" she questioned him

"What drives a man to do things he wouldn't necessarily do?"

"Love?" Natalie answered and John shook his head that she was right, she smiled briefly at him and then became serious again.

"So lets assume this guy knows me, he thinks he's in love with me, why stop killing in Philly at all, doesn't he want me to find him, so why stop killing in Philly, if he continued to kill I wouldn't have come back to Llanview"

'But he doesn't know that"

"What?"

"He probably didn't think you would leave Philly, I think he may have been trying to advance your career"

"Why and I don't know about that" she told John, she started to rub her forehead for a minute.

"Are you alright?" John asked as he walked closer to her

"Just a headache, and I'm tired, did you even realize it was almost ten"

'No I didn't. Why don't we call it a night, you seem more tired tonight than last night, I'll drive and you can sleep in the car on the way back home" John said and she smiled at him, they for a few minutes forgot Jake was even in the same room with them still.

'Natalie aren't' you staying at the hotel your mom owns?" Jake asked and she nodded.

"Yes, John lives there too"

"Great then, we can all drive back there together, I called and got a room earlier" Jake told them and John grumbled

"Hey man I wouldn't leave my car here if I was you, it's not safe" John told him and laughed.

'Anyways, My backseat is full" John told him as he grabbed Nat's coat from off the chair and started to help her on with it. Natalie gave John as look, a look of annoyance.

"John, he doesn't know his way around Llanview"

"Alright, he can follow us to the hotel" John said and she smiled at him slightly.

The three of them arrived at the hotel; no one was at the desk so Natalie went around the desk and got Jake the only available room, number 8.

"Here Jake this is the only available room" she handed him the key, they all started walking up the stairs to the second floor, John watched Jake also stop walking like them as he approached the second floor.

"What's going on?" John said not knowing that Jake was going to be in the room right next to his.

"I'm in 8" Jake told him and John grumbled something under his breath.

"Did you say something john?" Jake questioned and John said no, neither of them realized Natalie had let herself into her room and left the two of them in the hallway.

"Hey Nat babe, how about a shot of that whiskey you love so much I brought from Philly for you" Jake said to her at her door as she continued to close it.

"No thanks, I'm gonna shower and sleep, that's all I wanna do" Natalie said thru the door, Jake walked closer to John.

"Guess you aren't getting lucky tonight Mcbain" Jake told John with an attitude.

"Good thing for you I'm not these walls are pretty thin, you wouldn't be getting much sleep if I was" John told him and walked into his room. He flipped on the switch and stood up against the back of the door. He was confused why she went into her own room, why she didn't invite him in or come with him into his room. He picked up his cell and called her, he would've just went to the door but the walls were pretty thin, Jake would've known and he didn't want him to or the guy might invite himself to hang out with them.

"Hey, I guess you are in the shower already, I w--" John's words were cut off when he heard her scream, he dropped his phone and ran over to her door, he met Jake in the hall and they pushed her door open.

John's heart nearly jumped clearly out of his chest when he heard her scream, he, they ran into her room and she was standing at the window starring at something out on the fire escape, it was another dead body but this time it was a man, he had on some type of cap, it read LPD, there was an empty wine bottle near the body and the usual blood that was spilled around the body was in Nat's room in a trail leading to from the window to her bed.


	9. Chapter 9

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**Chapter 9**

John took out his gun and so did Jake, the two of them walked thru the small room and bathroom with guns drawn as they searched the room thoroughly. He wasn't still there, he was obviously gone, John put away his gun and walked over to her, he pulled her into his chest and held her.

"I'm so sorry I screamed, I know that was very unprofessional, it just caught me off guard" she said as she tried to regain herself.

She pulled herself off his chest after a few minutes; she backed up and looked into his eyes.

"What is it about this room and serial killers and me" she asked and the irony almost made it laughable.

"Are you alright?" John asked her as he forgot Jake was in the room with them, he remembers once Jake cleared his throat.

"Get your kit Nat, and your gloves, lets canvas and bag" he told her and he saw her start to move out of John's grip and vision as she grabbed her analysis kit.

"Wait Natalie, let me or one of my guys do this, you need to rest, I think you're still a little in shock"

"No, she isn't, she can do this, just step back LT and let her do her magic" Jake told him and John wanted to protest but he couldn't, she was already into swabbing and dusting.

The three of them worked almost like a team, a weird team of three. Natalie went out on the fire escape with John following her, she crouched down and studied the body, with her latex gloves on she carefully removed his Llanview PD cap and had to hold in her fear that started to ravel to the surface when she saw the man's hair. It was medium length; same as John's, same color and she knew even before she found the note in his pants that the killer was sending her a message.

John saw her remove the cap and he too knew what was happening, he put his hand on her shoulder reassuring her he was there as she proceeded to remove the note from the man pants. This note however wasn't in the pants pocket of the Vic. it was stuck in his zipper, the fly of his pants, she unzipped the note, careful not to ripe the small piece that stuck out for them to find.

Unfolding it as Jake walked closer to the window she read it out loud.

"I did it for you, all of it for you, now your far, or so near,"

Natalie turned to John, and then looked to Jake.

"He wants us back in Philly, he wants me back in Philly" she said softly as she felt again fear rise to her surface, she looked at John and tears started to pool in her eyes, then she looked towards Jake, he gave her the strength of her work so to speak, she pushed the tears completely away, she pushed them down deep and proceeded to examine the body. All three eventually moved their focus to inside the room.

Looking at the path of red wine from the window to the bed, Natalie kneeled down and noticed it wasn't fully absorbed into the carpet that meant it hadn't been that long ago. She thought about the significance of the path from the window and then to the bed, she looked over at John who had already figured it out.

"He's not happy you're here with me," John told her and she shook her head that she too got that point.

"What have you got babe" Jake asked her, so to break the staring trance John and Nat seem to have going, Jake wasn't out of this, not this case and most certainly not her life, he was putting himself smack down in the middle and not moving, not making a move till the time was right.

John tried to bite his tongue when he again called her babe, how many times had he called her that today? He asked himself pissed, he heard them speak of something else and call her babe again and he couldn't hold it in any longer.

"Jake, do you really think its professional to be calling someone that works for you babe? " John said in a tizzy and Jake smiled knowing he was most likely again getting to John and John was becoming unraveled by his and Natalie closeness.

"I don't call her Babe at work, but we're not on the payroll here so I can call her any affectionate name I want. She actually really enjoys it, the other pet name I have for her is only appropriate for the bed room" Jake told he snidely with a sweet smile knowing that last remark was going to get him and get him good.

John walked closer to Jake, smiled bitterly and was about to open up his mouth with some not so nice words when Nat walked closer to them. She had been over by the trail of wine and she was so trying real hard to ignore their back and forth words but she couldn't any longer. She positioned herself in between the two of them; she looked back and forth between them.

"Now isn't the time for any of this, I think we need to get back to Philly," she said that last part as she looked a Jake.

"You're right Babe" he said purposely as he looked at John.

"Yeah, we really should go back, that's what he wants" John told her and she looked at him, she smiled a small smile as she stared into her eye's.

"You're gonna come?" she asked as her eye's glimmered, he would really come to Philly with her, help her on this case, she her life there.

"Of course, and don't go thinking it's because I think I need to be there to keep you safe either, okay well that's part of it" he said and he smiled, he took his hand and touched the her cheek with it.

"I want to see you in action, I'm also pretty sure I can help" he said as they again were in a blue eye to blue eye trance, Jake walked closer to pull them out of it

"You really aren't needed Lt, I'm all the help Natalie needs, and when we get back there, I'm in charge, she works for me, and I always keep her safe" Jake said and John shook his head.

"That's fine Lt, but I'll be there also, just in case she needs me, emotionally or physically" John said snide and he gave him a smirk


	10. Chapter 10

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**Chapter 10**

Llanview PD's Forensic team came in after the three musketeers finished there initial search and canvas of Nat's room. The three musketeers John laughed, John heard one of his men comment to the three of them working on the case together he called them the three musketeers, how inappropriate John told himself.

The three of them were now in the hall pacing around, and it was a Little passed two in the morning, the three of them were getting irritated and becoming real tired. One of John's officers came out and John spoke to him, he said it would be a few more hours till they were done. John thanked him and then walked over to see a very tired Natalie standing up against the wall.

"Natalie, come on lets go get some sleep, " John told her motioning for her to come with him to his room, what use to be their room. Their home actually.

"That's right Nat, you are exhausted, later we'll make the Trip back to Philly and see if he follows, you can't stay in your room come and stay with me" Jake told her and looked at John. John just smiled at him. Both stared at each other waiting to see whose room she was going to stay in. Natalie shook her head.

"Will the two of you stop already?" she told them, then she saw they were both looking at her for an answer. Natalie walked closer to Jake.

"You know I can't stay in the room with you, it's not fair, I'll be in John's room and we'll all drive back to Philly in the later morning" she told Jake softly and gently, he nodded and kissed her cheek good night, she smiled weakly at him as he proceeded to walk next store to John's room but before he opened his door, he looked back at them and he spoke.

"Nat, if you need anything just scream I'll be there in a flash" he told her as he looked at her intently. John walked in front of Jake's' eye's.

"If she screams, It won't be cause she's in danger" John told him looking defiant, Natalie shook her head again knowing this was going to have to stop. She smacked his arm and then walked over to the door of his room. Jake didn't say a word and proceeded into his room.

When John and Nat were in his room she collapsed on the couch.

"Was that necessary John, all that sticking his nose in it" she asked as he took a seat next to her.

"Yeah, it was. That guy was purposely rubbing me the wrong way with all his Babe comments and standing so close to you all the time, he's lucky I calmed myself or I would've beat his ass" John told her and she laughed, he was jealous, really jealous of Jake, and well. Well he should be, of all the men she dated In front of him, other then Chris, Jake was one he should be jealous off, and that was because he never stepped down from a challenge, never and she knew right now, getting her to love him was Jakes challenge.

"Hey" John said as he got up and went over to the dresser in the bedroom.

"Maybe we should get some sleep. Here" he said and he threw a shirt at her, she looked at the shirt and her smile got brighter. It was her favorite, it was his navy blue tee shirt that she loved to sleep in, and he too smiled at her.

"You can have the bathroom first" he told her as they stared at each other.

"I don't need the bathroom" she told him and started to remove her clothes to change even before she got the words out. John's mouth dropped open and he wanted nothing more than to take her and make love to her right then and there but.. but .. there was a rodent in the room next store, a rodent who he was sure would make any excuse to come and interrupt them if he heard them and the walls in this place were thin, very thin.

John walked closer to her as she took off all her clothes, he never took his eye's off watching her and he helped her pull his shirt over her head and down her upper body. He smiled at her as she leaned in and kissed him gently on the lips.

"I want nothing more than to make love to you right now but.. but it'll have to wait for a more appropriate time, maybe when the third musketeer isn't next store with his ear to the wall." he told her and she laughed, John pulled his shirt off, kicked off his shoes, leaving his jeans on but unfastening the button, he walked them over towards the bed.

"Yeah, I think I'm too tired anyways, it's been a long night, a long couple of days." she told him and he nodded, they got in bed, she instantly found comfort on his chest and he held her there as he caressed her hair.

They lay silent for a few minutes neither of them speaking, knowing the other was still awake.

"Natalie "

'Yeah"

"I'm still very much afraid for you, afraid that someone's gonna take you from me, and I don't mean Jake, I'm afraid you are going to get hurt"

"Alright So?"

"So, I just wanted to be honest with you, I still have that fear but I watched you today, tonight, you are just as good as Jake said you are, even better and.. and what I'm saying is, I'll probably always be afraid cause that's who I am and I love you that much but.. but I trust that you are good enough to handle things, I really am so proud of you, you are truly amazing" he told her, she turned her head and looked at him, she smiled.

"I Love you, thanks for telling me you're proud of me, it means the world to me" she told him and then she leaned up and kissed him. She moved her head back down and nestled contently on his chest.

After a few more minutes he wasn't sure if she was still awake, but he had something on his mind and he wanted to say it now before things went crazy when they got to Philly.

"Are ya still awake?" he asked gently just in case she wasn't, he didn't want to wake her if she was, he felt her move her head and then her heard softly say she was.

"I just wanted you to know something else, I still really do want babies, babies with you," he told her and she laughed as she felt him chuckle making his stomach move.

"Go to sleep Mcbain, we'll discuss making babies another time" she told him; he continued to run his fingers thru her long hair till they both feel asleep.


	11. Chapter 11

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**Chapter 11**

Natalie woke before John; she showered and was waiting out in the hall when Jake walked up towards her from the stairs.

"You were out already today?" she asked him as he continued to walk towards her, he got even closer, very close, he was almost on top of her, he looked down at her and he smiled.

"Yep, did ya sleep well? I didn't hear any noise I guess you were alright" Jake told her purposely saying the words slowly to stream a long line of warm air on her. Natalie knew he was teasing, trying to get to her, trying to turn her on, she knew he remembered how she use to tell him being so close made her want to touch him and his muscular built but not anymore.

John admitted he loved her, admitted he was proud of her, he also admitted he was still afraid but he wasn't going to let that fear get in the way. She smiled as she remembered the cute little Baby talk, the cute little joking about making babies they had before bed.

Jake saw her smile and he snapped his fingers in front of her to get her attention.

"What's going on in that beautiful brain of yours?" he asked and she looked at him.

'Do you really want to know? It's about John"

"Yeah, you can tell me" he said in a pessimist tone

"No, that's alright, I know it's a sore subject and it wouldn't be very nice"

"No tell me really, what did the wonderful Brooding Lt Mcbain do or say to put that radiant smile on your face"

"Really? Alright, he admitted he loves me, he even told me he's proud of me, that he trusts me and my judgment, my work ability, he... he.. never mind"

"Just say it Nat"

"He said he'd give me babies if that was what I really wanted" she said beaming, all those words out of John, it was unbelievable, he had really said all those wonderful words to her, about her. He had even given her a sort of commitment, in his own way, he committed to her.

Jake looked at her beaming glow, any other man would be discouraged by it but he wasn't, he loved her, he wanted her and sooner or later she would have to come around to loving and wanting to be with him, he put up his hand near her hair, he pushed it back behind her ear. He saw her about to protest but he did it anyways, he laid one humdinger of a kiss on her lips that would have made any woman lose their bearings.

Natalie didn't know what to do; he kissed her with such force. It would have been one hell of a kiss if she weren't so freaking in love with John, if she wasn't still thinking about John's beautiful words to her.

John came out of his room and saw Jake's lips on hers, kissing her with some movie screen long kiss, he walked over quickly and pulled him off and away from her. John pushed him up against the wall

"I don't know what you think you are doing but don't ever put your lips on hers again" John told him not being so nice this time. John's rage was getting the best of him, Jake had finally crossed the line, all his comments were one thing but now he kissed her and like that, and when he knew she wanted to be with John, she had told him, she had told Jake she didn't love him and he still wouldn't cut his loses and leave it alone, leave them alone.

"John calm down, it's no big deal, it wasn't anything"

"Natalie stay out of this, it is a big deal, you've made you self clear to him and he can't go around just kissing you like that" John told her as he saw Jake getting angrier by the minute as John still had him pinned.

'Let go of him John, trust me I'll handle it" John looked at her, at her eye's he was so mad right now he couldn't breath, see straight but he looked into her eye's the eye's that he knew loved him and he had to trust them, trust her.

"Please John" she said softly as she saw him coming down from his rage. He let go of Jake, Jake pushed passed him cocky looking, but Jake didn't say a word, he smiled knowing he got to John again, knowing if he got to him enough he would eventually blow things with her and he could pick up the pieces and get her to Love him.

"Jake, we need to talk" Natalie told him and moved him to the side; John was still in hearing distance and was listening very intently.

"Don't do it again Jake, I mean it, it's not going to work John and I love each other, we have for a long time and there isn't anything that will come between us, we're committed to each other"

'Natalie babe" Jake purposely said as he looked at John, who was still watching intently never wavering his eye's.

"All I see is your commitment to him, he's not committed to you, if I loved you for that long, I would have asked to spend my life with me along time ago, he hasn't and he probably never will, you might wait for him forever, didn't you once tell me he takes forever to move on and for change to happen" Jake said and Natalie closed hr eye's, she knew this wasn't going to go over to well with John, she opened her eye's a few minutes later and didn't hear a word from him, she looked over, he was still there. She shook her head a bit shocked that he didn't interrupt; maybe he was trusting in her after all.

"Jake, just don't do it again, my lips are off limits to you and my relationship, my commitment with John is none of your business, now I'm heading back to Philly if anyone else would also like to head back, we have a killer to catch" she said firmly and walked over to JOHN.

"Thanks, for letting me handle that" she said and kissed him gently on the lips. They all walked down stairs, Natalie started towards her car, John followed.

"Hey, why don't we take my car?" he told her

"No, lets take mine, the killer obviously knows mine, we have no real way to know if he knows yours"

"Alright, but I'll drive" he said and she smiled at him

"Be my guest" she told him, she started to walk to the passenger side of the car to get in when Jake walked I front of her and got in the seat.

"Hey!" she told him loudly

"What the hell!" John said as he saw Jake in the front seat next to him

"I thought it best we all rode together. We can discuss the case as we drive," Jake told John as he closed the door, Natalie got in the back seat shaking her head and laughing.

The three of them arrived in Philly a few hours later, John pulled out in front to let Natalie out, Natalie jumped out and so did Jake. John drove the car around to the back parking lot and then proceeded to walk into the station a few feet behind them.

John walked into the Philly Police station and he looked around, he had been her several times before but not in almost two years. He walked behind Natalie and Jake as he saw all the passing officers smile hello to her. He smiled again feeling proud of her. She walked gracefully and confidently thru the station, she approached a room and then she turned to see him behind her, she smiled.

"You wanna meet the people I work with?" she asked him and he nodded a yes. She opened the door to the forensics room, in side was about ten people walking all around doing different projects, she guided him over to a small office, they went inside and she took off her jacket and thru it on the chair.

"So is this your office?" he asked with a smile, before she had a chance to answer him Jake came by the door and spoke.

"Yeah, it's all hers, it's small for now but it won't be long before she's got my old one" He told John with a smile. Jake moved his way into the office and sat next to John.

"I asked Brian to get us all the files on Bison, he's still in holding, we need to prove he didn't commit the murders here in Philly before we can officially rule out a copy catter."

"Jake, have someone do that, I want to put all my effort into finding this guy, my gut says Bison was a set up, for some reason, not quite sure, but I want to work on finding the guy."

"Who do you suggest I put on it?"

"Mattie, she's good, really good" Natalie told Jake and then she turned to John.

"Mattie and I started the tech progrom together, she a good firend"

"yeah, when Nat started the program there was atleast four others who started with her, but she was the best, the best out of the five"

"there was five of us? I thought there was only four. Anyways, jake is just being nice, I wasn't the smartest one, actually if that guy didn't have some sort of personal problem I wouldn't have been the top, he was way better than I was" Natalie told him and she started to get up and head towards the file cabinet crammed in the corner.

"It's funny, I can't remember that guys name"

"What guy?" Mattie asked as she walked by the office door.

"That guy, the one that was really good, the one that was always talking down to me like I was some sort of idiot, you know the one with the pocket protector" Natalie said to Mattie as she remember

"Yeah, I remember him, Jason Johnson, what ever happened to that guy?" Mattie asked

"Not sure, oh Mattie I'm sorry this is Lt John Mcbain from the Llanview Police department, he's here to help with the case, he's a fr--" Natalie was about to say friend when John jumped in.

"I'm her Boyfriend" John said and Natalie looked at him, that was weird she told herself as Mattie and John shook hands, Mattie knew Nat had been seeing Jake secretly, she was Nat's good friend, and now this guy, this guy must have been the one she had also told her about, the brooding cop she had been in Love with.

Jake heard John make reference to him being her boyfriend, he just smiled when he heard him call himself that, he looked at Natalie and she was beaming from ear to ear, she apparently loved that remark from John.

Mattie shook John's hand as he extended it out to shake and Mattie smiled, she went over to Natalie at her desk, she handed her the files she was bringing in to her, she went up close to Nat's ear and whispered into it.

"Last I spoke to you, you and our Lt were an item, I want to hear the whole juicy story later at O'Malley's for a beer." she told Natalie as she smiled, Natalie laughed.

"Okay, O'Malley's after work for a few beers" Natalie told her out loud and in front of the men. Mattie excused herself and headed back out into the other room.

"So" Natalie said taking a breath ready to get into this case again, and this times no interruptions.

"Lets walk thru it step by step and go over every little detail"


	12. Chapter 12

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**Chapter 12**

The three musketeers went thru every piece of evidence in the files, every thing, nothing new stood out to Jake or Natalie.

It had been hours, they had spent all day in her little office looking over files, reports, Natalie's brain was fried, she got up from her desk and walked into the other room, she started pacing around the room. She thought about the girl's bodies they had found here in Philly and then she thought long and hard about the man's dead body on the fire escape at the hotel in Llanview.

"The Note" she told herself, it was on Philly Pd stationary, not just ordinary stationary but forensics stationary, why hadn't she realized this earlier, the forensics stationary wasn't that common, as a matter of fact. It was discontinued a month or two after she started the Tech program. She turned and looked at Jake who was still at her desk with John.

"Jake, when did they discontinue the special forensics stationary?"

"What?" Jake asked not having a clue where she was going with this

"Follow me here, the note, it has the forensics dept wording on the bottom under the Philly Pd heading, we no longer use this stuff, I remember something about using it the first few weeks when I started the program but, it was discontinued, some budget thing so we use all the same paper. The only way anyone would have had that paper was if he was given it or stole it back when the program began."

"Okay, so we have somebody who, has the paper, he's good at murdering cause he hasn't left us any clues he obviously didn't want us to find, he wants me in Philly for some reason, he dislikes John cause the guy killed in Llanview had John's characteristics. Maybe this isn't about Love, but about me"

"Jake what ever happened to that guy, the one, the pocket protector guy who was better than me, the one that mysteriously dropped out of the program"

"I'll go find out" Jake told her as he to thought maybe she was on to something, John approached Natalie as she was still pacing and thinking things thru.

"Maybe this wasn't about Love, maybe he just wanted to prove he's better than me, that I couldn't catch him, like a score to settle cause maybe I did what he couldn't for some reason, what do ya think?" she asked him, he moved closer to her, he could tell she was becoming unraveled, it was getting late and she hadn't eaten all day either.

"I think it's possible, I think you are absolutely terrific at the way you work things out and think anybody trying for the same job would feel threatened by you, I also think you need to eat something, you've been at this all day and you need food, it's after dinner time"

"No John, I want to get this guys name and visit him tonight"

"No Natalie, listen to me, you can't go at this pace, you need to eat, you need sleep, you need me to cuddle with you, maybe make a little love" he said and he smiled widely at her as he pulled her in closer to him when he said the make love part.

"You aren't going to be able to talk with this guy tonight, come on take me to this O'Malley's place for a beer, then some dinner, then I'll let you take me back to your place and you can have your way with me" John told her and she couldn't help but smile, he was being cute, frisky, affectionate. She loved it, she loved him, she thought about him being right, it was late, she thought it best to Wait till morning to speak to this guy.

Natalie grabbed her purse and her coat, they were about to head out when she realized she hadn't told Jake they were leaving.

"Wait, I'll catch up, I've got to tell Jake we're leaving," she told him and he frowned

'Do you have to?" he asked her and she nodded her head

"Yeah, I should he is my boss"

'I know but.. but he might decide to tag along, I've had about enough of seeing that guy as I ever want to " he told her as she smiled and walked away, she went over to one of the officers and asked him to give Jake the message that she and John left for the night. John smiled when he heard her give an officer the message for Jake.

Natalie walked back over to John, she smiled at him, he put his arm around her and they walked out of the station. They walked across the street to the bar, once inside Natalie saw almost the whole Forensics crew there.

"This really isn't the place if you want me alone" she told John and she reached up with her lips and kissed him.

'It's okay, it seems to be a cool place,"

"It is, it even has a pool table," she told him and she pulled him towards the table

"Wanna play?" she asked him and his mouth got dry, he had to remind himself that she meant pool, he gave her his sexy grin that he knew she loved so much, she stared into his blue eye's.

"Instead maybe we should just go back to my place" she told him as he smiled and was about to say that was a better idea when they heard Jake come over to them and clear his throat, John rolled his eye's at Jake's timing, five minutes later and they would've been out the door and closer to making love.

"Hey" Jake said to Natalie, as she looked his way.

"Any luck with info on Jason Johnson?" Natalie asked him as she moved away from John towards Jake for a moment.

"No, not yet but Michele is suppose to give me a call when she gets what we need, hey, you up for a game of pool?" Jake asked her as he stared at her and ignored John.

"I know how it helps you to relieve tension," Jake added as he saw her look behind herself at John.

"We were Just leaving, it's not the only way Natalie relieves tension" john told Jake and Natalie made a face at him.

Jake heard his snide comment and ignored it, he was playing the calm and collective one again, the one she would come running to when John did something inexcusable and was uncontrollable.

Natalie walked closer to John after his comment, she looked into his blueness.

"That wasn't called for," she said softly for only him to hear.

"Okay, you're right, I'm sorry" John told her back softly and just as quietly as she told him.

"Don't tell me, tell him," Natalie told him and his face got defiant. He shook his head no, back and forth several times.

"John" she said sternly but with a sultry glare

"Okay, okay, then can we go back to your place" he said with a smirk, she nodded yes. John walked over to Jake, he looked into the beady eye's, or at least they looked beady to John to everyone else they were green and beautiful.

"I'm sorry about that comment, it was uncalled for, have a great night sleeping alone." John told him all serious like and he couldn't help himself with the last part.

"Come on Nat, you promised now, lets go relieve some tension," he told her and she couldn't help but smile at him, he was acting so light, and .. and in love, although he was being a bit obnoxious to Jake, he was seemed to be excited and happy with them. John took Nat's hand and led them out the door or the bar; Natalie briefly turned back and told Jake they'd see him at the station early tomorrow.

When John and Nat got outside Nat turned to John.

"Hey we didn't even eat anything, or even have a beer, you promised me food and drink Mcbain," she told him smiling

"Don't you have anything at your place?" he asked and she shook her head no.

"Stop at a convenience store for a six pack and a bag of chips" he told her as they got in the car.

"A little anxious are we?" she asked as he pulled out of the parking lot

"Yeah, I am"

"You really are, aren't you?" she asked and looked at him all curious like

"I am, I missed it so much Natalie, I missed Making Love to you so much, I missed you so much" he told her open and raw, as he drove to her directions.

Natalie heard him say how much he missed making Love to her and she thought she would melt, she might not have changed much but he did, not the major stuff, not for the worse but for the better, he said things now, he told her things now, she didn't have to second guess the way he felt about things, he was more honest and open, she looked over at him as he was driving, he briefly looked at her, he smiled and then turned his focus back on the road, she smiled again this time to herself almost like a love sick teenager and then she placed a hand on his knee as he drove.

He felt her hand on his knee and it sent chills up his spine, he placed his hand on top of hers and held it. No words were needed for the remainder of the drive and none were spoken, their hands stayed in place till they arrived at Nat's apartment building, they got out of the car still in silence and walked up to her floor and her apartment with joined hands.

Natalie opened her apartment door and before anything else John took out his gun and walked around it, searching to make sure there wasn't anybody there or any messages or presents from the killer, when the place was all clear he put his gun away in his jacket and laid his jacket on a table by the front door. He went into the living room with her and took a seat next to her on the couch. He looked at her and she looked... looked nervous. He reached over to her and took her hands in his.

"Are you as nervous as I am?" he asked her and she smiled

"Yeah, and I can't figure out why, you'd think it was our first time or something" she told him and he chuckled

"Well it has been almost a year since we made love last"

"Really, it has? Never realized it was that long ago"

"Well that's because you had Mr. stud muffin for the past six months" John called Jake a Stud muffin and Natalie couldn't help but laugh, she continued to laugh.

"Sorry to burst your bubble old man but no one uses that saying anymore"

"Old Man?" he questioned playfully and he started leaning towards her pushing her back against the couch cushions.

"I'll give you old man," he said smiling as he started to bring his lips to her collarbone.

"Do you promise?" she asked him playfully as she got caught up in the feeling of his lips slowly moving down her shoulders

"Oh baby, I'd promise you the moon right now if I had too" he told her and began his decent down towards the buttons on her shirt.


	13. Chapter 13 Smut

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**Ch 13 NC-17**

John's body was laying almost completely on hers as he started kissing her with such force that neither of them could breath, his hands were making quick time with the buttons on her shirt and he felt her hands glide down his chest to his pants, she pulled at his belt till it pulled open and she smiled in between their urgent kissing.

John's mouth was moving it's way down on her neck as he finished the last of her buttons, he brought his hands to her breasts and started to squeeze them gently at first but quickened and tightened on them as he became more and more urgent for her, for her taste, for her body, for his to be inside her, he ran his thumbs over each of her nipples simultaneously over her beige bra as he heard the first sounds of pleasure come from her mouth.

Natalie sighed getting lost somewhere between his lips and tongue on her neck and his strong hands on her breast, his large thumbs as they teased and erected her nipples. She felt as if she couldn't breath, she had waited so long for this, for him, for him to realize he loved her, for him to express it, she had her hand on his pants, she undid his belt already and was to caught up in this pleasuring actions to move, she was laying still on the outside frozen because of his touch, memorizing all of his action, remembering what he did to her, she finally got up enough strength and unzipped his pants, pushed them down a little lower as he saw her trying so desperately to pushed them down even lower, he smiled at her, their blue to blue eye's locked and he stood up, so did she.

Face to face they stood in front of the couch, both smiling at each other as they both started taking their own clothes off, John started with the rest of his pants and she pulled her shirt off her shoulders, barely breaking blue eyed contact with in a few minutes they were both Naked physically and emotionally as they stood in front of each other. Natalie gave him a sexy grin, she grabbed the throw blanket from the love seat a few feet away, took it and laid down on the area rug on the floor.

John watched as her naked body laid itself on the floor with nothing but a smile and a throw blanket, he laughed as she gave him a smirk of annoyance cause he was taking to long, the thing was he was taking it all in, her, her beauty, everything that he had missed while they were apart, while she was gone.

"Are you going to join me or what? " she asked chuckling slightly and then raising an eyebrow when he purposely didn't move to join her. He smiled as he heard her call his name.

"John" she said and he had, had enough teasing, he laid down on top of her as he threw the blanket over them. John started at her mouth and then ran his lips down her neck, kissing and nibbling gently, he got to her breasts and he latched on one of them as he took her nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue, Natalie wrapped her arms around his back as he descended down her body with his mouth and tongue. She let out a few loud sighs as she began to arch her back up bringing her chest up in his face more, John placed one arm under her back to aid in the arch, to aid in the pleasure.

Natalie was again lost in ecstasy, the things John did to her, all the things, every little touch, every breath she felt on her skin, he brought her to heaven and back so many times when they were together and now he was beyond it, beyond heaven an even greater place she thought, if there was even a place greater than heaven that was where he was bringing her tonight, where she knew he would be bringing her every night then after. She smiled to herself as she wrapped her legs around him and pulled his lower body and his penis towards her, she wanted to feel him, she wanted to be one with him in every way possible, she brought her mouth up to his ear and whispered in it.

"I Love you John," she said and she watched as he smiled, he pulled his head back from hers and he looked at her with the brightest smile on his face she had ever seen. He didn't look away and he didn't stutter.

"I love you too Natalie" he said as he watched her face as he entered her with his penis, pushing gently, gliding into her warm core, stopping once inside to adapt to the warmth of her, to readjust and get himself comfortable cause he planned on being inside her forever if it was possible. Their bodies quickly found their way back home to each other and they started moving in since as if they remembered what got the other going, what pushed the other over the edge.

Natalie started to moan, she started to hum, she verbalized with every action, every tender but deepening trust into her and John's ears never heard such beautiful music, her beautiful music got louder and louder as he finally couldn't hold it anymore, hold what he felt for her anymore, with a shiver he brought all the love he felt for here, all the love he had caged up inside of him for her and he released it into her as he felt her body willing to receive it with it's tightening and contractions till they both laid exhausted and humming their own tune to there love making. Natalie automatically found a spot on his chest as he held her close.

A few minutes later Still Laying on the floor and exhausted John pulled the throw blanket up and over, closer on their naked bodies, she was still on his chest, he was content but for some reason couldn't find himself asleep, he felt her chest rise and fall and he knew she was already asleep. He let out a long stream of warm air, he knew why he couldn't sleep, there was to much going on, the murder case, this serial killer who's killings were for Natalie, or some how about Natalie, would the killer be eventually coming after her, what did he want from her, were they all good enough to catch this guy, all three of them, if they all worked together. That led him to the next thing that was bothering him, the three of them, the musketeers, he laughed to himself, he and this guy Jake were nothing alike but were. They were both in love with her, both wanted her safe, were both proud of her, both wanted to give her the world, but.. Jake had made it very clear what his intentions with her were, what he wanted for them, John couldn't say the same.

John had no doubt that Jake, Lt Harrison would be with Natalie, Marry her in a heart beat, raise a family with her, grow old with her and never take her for granted ever. That was just the type of person he was, the type of guy he was. but was John? He asked himself as he began to feel insecure, inadequate almost, he started running a hand up and down her bare back trying to figure out if he was that type of person or could be for her.

There was a time, along time ago he wanted things, things with Caitlin, a family, a house, a quiet, simple family life but then his life ended up in the gutter so to speak, he became a brooding individual without light till he met her, once he met her undetected to him at first it lightened, his life, he fell and fell hard for her, she brought him much more than he thought he ever deserved, much more than he ever expected, she helped him in ways he couldn't begin to imagine, she saved him. She was saving him all over again. He let out another long stream of warm air as he felt her move her body to get comfortable on his chest.

"What am I going to do with you Natalie, what are we going to do?" he said out loud softly and quietly. He closed his eyes for a few minutes and then he heard her sweet soft half asleep voice.

"What do you want to do John, what are you talking about?" she asked feeling as if she was drifting in and out of sleep.

"It's not important Nat, go back to sleep"

"It's got to be important if it's keeping you from sleep, tell me"

"Just wondering what's gonna happen when this is all over that's all"

"What do you mean?"

"With us, are you staying here in Philly, will you be coming back to Llanview with me, should I maybe stay here with you, just not sure how all this is going to play out that's all and I guess it's got me feeling a little insecure" he told her and she was wide awake right now, she pulled herself up off his chest and looked at him as she sat up.

"Would you consider staying here in Philly with me?" she asked him all curious like

"Yeah, I wouldn't have said it if I didn't think it was possible, I told you once I wasn't letting you go, and well I did, didn't I? But now there's no going back on my words again, I'm not and even if I have to move here to Philly and get a job working for a jerk like Jake Harrison to keep my words to you I will"


	14. Chapter 14

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**Ch 14**

Some where about five thirty in the morning Natalie heard her phone ring, not her cell phone but her land line, she gently moved from John's arms and picked up the phone that sat on a table near the wall that led to her bedroom, she picked it up, it was dead, she put it back down, stared at the phone for a minute and then went into her bedroom to grab a shirt to put on when she saw something sitting outside her bedroom window on t he terrace, she walked closer to the doors leading out to it and saw it was a man with a cap on his head sitting in her outside chairs, she covered her mouth with her hand and let out a screeching noise as she felt a hand on her shoulder, she automatically jumped and let out a scream.

John heard her scream and felt her jump as he touched her shoulder, he grabbed her, she looked shaken, he pulled her to his chest and then looked straight ahead and he to noticed the dead man sitting outside on the chair. After a few seconds Natalie pulled herself off John's chest. He looked into his eyes.

"I'm okay now, I just.. I just didn't expect that, I mean we have been here all night, we didn't hear anything"

"Natalie, are you sure you are alright?"

"Yeah, let me get my kit, call Jake and the station for me, I'll get started" she told him and she walked into the living room for her Tech Bag.

Fifteen minutes later Jake arrived at Nat's apartment, he came barging into the apartment like a whirlwind, his face was pushed up and he was steaming. He walked into the living room and saw a pile of clothes on the couch and a few blankets on the floor, if he wasn't already mad he was pissed now. He walked into the bedroom and saw her examining the terrace doors from the outside, they were half shut and she didn't notice him, she was to wrapped up in her task at hand, her task to see if this killer slipped up.

John was walking out of her bathroom, he was in there looking to see if anything was odd, he didn't see Jakes fist until it was upon his jaw.

John went down when Jake sucker punched in the Jaw, john went down hard and was stunned by the force of his punch.

"Shit!" John screamed out as he felt the pain from his jaw, john was attempting to pick himself up off the floor when Jake was now pacing back and forth like a prize fighter.

"Stay down you son of a bitch, stay down there or I'll knock you head off next time" Jake told John and John got up anyways

"You wanna go Asshole, lets go!" John said just as mad now, there was no denying this was going to get ugly and quick if someone didn't do something. One of the other Forensic Tech's saw the whole thing and he couldn't believe his eye's, he was in shock, he had worked for Lt Harrison for a very long time and never once did he see him lose his cool, never, not even dealing with lowlifes and criminals. The Tech went outside to where Natalie was oblivious to what was going on inside her bedroom. Within a few minutes of Natalie being told yes hurried inside to catch them just as they were going to go take matters outside.

"Stop right there the two of you!" she said loudly and hostile. Both of the men turned to look at her.

"What!" John turned and said Nasty to her, she stared him down till he softened

"I'm sorry, but he hit me first" John told her

"I only hit you cause your an ass, you were suppose to keep her safe, she could've got hurt tonight, the killer was right here in her apartment, probably even watching you guys having..having..."

"Making love on the floor!" John screamed in his face and they both stared with the looks of hatred and pumping up of chests.

"You two are acting like three year olds, we don't have time for this, none of it, this guy is trying to tell us something, tell me something, now are we all going to work together or not?"

Both men still refused to budge for a few minutes, they looked back and forth to each other and then John broke the stares between him and Jake, he looked at Natalie, she was mad, very mad but she was being more professional then either of them.

"I might be willing if he's willing to" John told her as he pointed to Jake

"Jake?" Natalie said asking with her tone

"Fine"

" Good now shake, be friends and let's get working on the clues, if there are any"

"You didn't find anything, Babe?" Jake asked and he knew it might set John off but he was wrong. John shook his head and decided he could call her babe all he wanted, it wasn't going to be bothering him anymore, they made love last night and that was all that mattered, there was no way, no how this asshole would take this feeling away from him, not even finding a dead guy on her terrace after they held each other all night would bring him completely down from the High he felt by them sharing there Love.

"Nothing yet and I really don't expect to find anything either, he's good, real good"

"What about a note, in his zipper?"

"I was just about to look for one when I was interrupted by a school yard fight" Natalie told them and she gave them a look.

'Lets go look for the note" the three of them proceeded to the doors and looked over the man, he still had his cap on and this one read Philly Forensics. John removed the mans cap and noticed it, he looked similar to Jake, same color hair, sort of same steroid looking built, same complexion. John stood studying the cap and the guys face as Nat and Jake carefully removed the note from the man's pants, just like the other note.

John looked at the cap, back and forth, he remembered the other man in Llanview outside her window on the fire escape, he also wore a hat, the hat said LPD for Llanview police department, and this one was a forensics cap.

" I don't think he wants either of us with you Natalie" John said softly and quietly out loud to Nat, as she was a few inches away

"Hold on a second john, we got the note out of his zipper without ripping it" Natalie took the note and carefully opened it. She read it to herself first

" To be the best you need to catch the best, I've made that possible now catch me... ps. there's a present for you in the kitchen" the three of them made there way carefully into the kitchen, all three of them eager to see what was left for them, for Nat in the kitchen.

On Nat's kitchen counter sat a bottle of red wine, the brand the killer always left spilled out around his victims. Natalie carefully with her gloves still on picked it up, she held it from the top, it was open but where was the red wine, Jake looked behind him into the sink and saw the red stain on the sink.

'He poured out the wine in the sink" Jake said as they saw Natalie turn the bottle upside down and shake something out of it, as she shook about came a plastic zip lock bag with a another note in it, carefully unfolding the clothe like paper note Natalie read the next note

"You have too many men but they can't give you what I can, eliminate them or I will and then we'll meet" Natalie looked at the note, it wasn't on any type of stationary, it seemed to be on not even paper at all, some sort of heavy cloth all most a clothe type napkin like from a restaurant of some sort. All three of them studied it.

"What is it?"

" It's some sort of napkin, almost cloth, it looks familiar doesn't it?" Natalie said but she couldn't put her finger on it.

"You were right John he wants you guys gone" Nat said as she kept saying the words over and over again " you have too many men but they can't give you what I can, eliminate them or I will and then we'll meet"

John watched as Natalie said and replayed the words over an over again with her mouth and in her head, he knew what she was going to say next even before she figured it out.

"NO!" John told her, as she looked at him after hearing it loud and clear

"No Natalie, don't even think it, I'm not going anywhere" John told her and then Jake chimed in.

"I'm not either" Jake told her as he too got himself into the mix


	15. Chapter 15

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**Chapter 15**

"The two of you don't have a choice, you have to go, John you go back to Llanview, j---"

"Like hell! There is no way on gods given earth I'm going bad to Llanview, no freaking way!" he told her irate, was she crazy, did she honestly think he was going to just leave her, leave her hear in Philly, leave her alone at all, certainly not with a serial killer on the loose, a killer who is obviously obsessed with her. John and Natalie stared at each other stubbornly for a few minutes.

"You're right Nat" Jake said turning Nat's attention away from John and his stubborn blue eyes

"I think John should go, and go back to Llanview, we can handle this guy alone you and I we don't the old stick in the mud helping us" Jake told her and she shook her head, here it goes again, she thought to herself and immediately heard John's rebuttal.

"Who the hell are you calling a old stick in t he mud? Who the hell are you to think you should be the one to help her with this guy, who the F---"

"I'm the guy who taught her, her mentor so to speak, she works for me and above everything else I love her more than you!"

"Impossible Asshole, wanna go outside?" John asked and Natalie had about had it.

"Will for the love of God the two of you morons stop fighting over me, I've about had it with both of you! We have more important things to discuss, now fucking behave or I'll have to call your mommies" Natalie screamed at them, it was getting tiresome, really tiresome, all the fighting and bickering, the comments, this was serious shit they were dealing with, serious and they were acting like babies.

Natalie looked at Jake and then John, they were both steaming, John looked at her, she looked into his eyes, his blue locked with her blue and she was pleading with him to be mature about things, not just the crap with Jake but the notion that she do it alone, finish the case alone, that was obvious what the killer wanted, he wouldn't be happy till she did, for some reason it seemed as if this killer had a vested interest in Natalie and her solving this case on her own, no John, no Jake involved, and those conclusions he just formed in his head as he searched her blue eyes were some of those things that scared him the most, what he feared the most. Her working it alone, her accomplishing it alone, no need for John to save her, no need for him.

A few minutes passed and Jake also calmed down as he watched the two of them get lost in each other's eyes. He cleared his throat

"You are right Nat, we have been acting like children, I'm sure John along with myself will behave from this moment on" Jake told her and she looked from him and his words to John, john nodded in agreement.

"Now for you working this case alone...at first I thought maybe it wasn't such a great idea but... if that's what the killer wants, if that is what is going to bring him out into the open so we can catch him, so you can catch him, I trust you, you are exactly what he says you are the best, you can handle it, I'm behind you one hundred percent babe" Jake told her and she moved closer to him, she smiled at him.

"Thank You, that means a lot to me" Natalie told him and John made a face.

"What a crook of shit!" John said out loud a Little louder than he expected, Nat turned and looked at him with piercing eye's, her eye's calmed when she saw the under-laying fear she knew was in him.

"Jake, I need to speak with John alone for a few minutes" she told Jake and Jake knew better than to protest, as a matter of fact he thought this might be just what he needed to start winning her back. John would be stubborn and demanding and come across as not believing in her abilities; this could just be the perfect thing he was hoping for. Jake walked inside trying desperately not to smile where they could see him.

Natalie walked behind Jake and closed the kitchen door. She turned to John who was standing staring at her back with his hands on his hips.

"I can't do it Nat, I can't, you know I can't"

"John, I need you to trust me, I can handle things just fine, I can do this, I'm really good at it, you said so yourself" she said softly as she approached him. John just shook his head and stared down at the ground, he was still mad but afraid and she knew it, and he knew it.

"I trust you Natalie, You are good, I wasn't just saying that, but... but this guy.. He's a killer and.. He's playing some sick game with you, with all of us, I just couldn't bare to see you get hurt" John told her and she stood in front of him, she lifted his chin that was down and pulled it up so there eyes met.

"I know you're afraid, afraid I'm going to get hurt, and that you won't be here to save me, to help me but I'll be fine, we can't live with that fear anymore, you and I can't, we have in the past and look at where it got us...things are good now, not perfect, we have a long way to go but are hearts are back to where they belong, please, lets not screw it up now, lets not let our fears continue to destroy what we have." she told him and she saw him lean his forehead into hers, John closed his eye's.

"I think I'm more afraid that you'll get hurt and not be able to continue to save me," He told her in only a whisper as he brought his lips to hers gently grazing them. After a few seconds she pulled back from him and stared again into his powerful blue eyes. He watched her eyes and knew she was looking for his acceptance, acceptance to the plan that she do it alone, and he gave it.

"Okay, alright but you take every precaution necessary, you take a gun with you, I know Forensics Techs don't usually carry there piece and its not mandatory but I know you know how to use it, every precaution Natalie, no risks, I Love you and I can never lose you again" John told her and she smiled, it meant a lot to her that he accepted this, her, that they were equal, she may have finally after all this time felt to be his equal and equal partner.

"Is there anything else Lt Mcbain?" she said in a joking playful voice as she lightened the mood.

"Yeah, there is" he said and he grabbed her by her waist quickly and urgently, he planted a heated kiss on her that would've knocked her socks off if she was wearing any. Natalie pulled out of the kiss and she was dizzy, shit! She told herself that was one hell of kiss. She looked at him and he laughed seeing the damage he had just done to her.

"There's one more thing I almost forgot," he told her and she tried to concentrate, she was having a hard time focusing for the minute. She nodded for him to continue

"I'm not leaving Philly. And before you protest, I don't care, I will stay away from you, the station, the asshole in the other room, but I won't be going back to Llanview till this is all over, take it or leave it kid"


	16. Chapter 16

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**Chapter 16**

John sat in a small hotel room waiting to hear from Natalie, he was still in Philly, and he was nervous every second of every day, it had been only been two days, two long miserable days, he was going crazy being cooped up in this flea bag hotel, going crazy that he couldn't be with her, help her, keep her safe. He did speak to her a few times over the past few days, little conversation here and there, quick ones thou, they weren't sure about this guy, how or if this guy knew every aspect of her and her life.

John was getting very impatient in only a few days when he heard the hotel room phone ring, he answered it and ran out of the room with his hand on the gun that sat in his holster. Walking carefully to his car as he observed the area he didn't know what hit him, what pinched his neck, what pricked him, he went down unconscious as a large man carried him towards a van.

Natalie sat at the station with a donut in one hand and a cup of bad tasting coffee in the other, she was reading over all the clues to the murders, bringing focus to the last two, the only two men, they were the only two men and the only two that seem to be giving her clues, clues to who he was, what he wanted and why he might be doing this, she thought.

She worked with the Forensics staff at the station but Jake had taken a vacation, not really but he was away from the station till this was settled, the killer obviously watched the station and knew all the comings and goings so it was best he wasn't around. He obviously had no problem with her working with the other techs, or he would have killed again and he hadn't not in two days. She basically ran the show here on this case and that was what they thought he wanted

Two days and they were still waiting on important information on Jason Johnson, the best, the best tech till something happened and he dropped out, they had found out it wasn't a conscious choice for him to drop out, he had, had an accident, some sort of accident making him brain dead, so that lead of him being the killer was a dead end. It was impossible, he was at Philly university Hospital and had been for the past two months, since the day he... the day.. . Natalie looked at the date of his accident, hmmm. She told herself and she wrote the date down on a legal note pad she used for notes.

Natalie didn't know why but she got a feeling, a gut feeling Jason Johnson and his accident had something to do with these murders, with the murderer. She shook her head as she stared at the familiar date of Jason's accident, why did it look so familiar she thought. She was brought out of her trance when Mattie walked into the room.

"You're not going to believe this" Mattie told her as she continued to look thru the files in her hand

'What?"

"Jason Johnson, the information on his accident"

"Yeah, spill it Mattie, spill it out, I have no patience for games... I'm sorry, please what is it?"

It was the night we all went to O'Malley's for a few drinks, you know after the big prelim at that abandoned warehouse in the out skirts"

"What?" Natalie said and realized why the date was familiar, that was the last day she was second best, the day Jake had given them some stupid preliminary crime scene at some old warehouse, how did that tie in to the killer.

"Mattie, I'm getting a bit confused lets start from the beginning of that day and all the occurrences."

Natalie took out her legal pad again and she and Mattie went thru hour by hour.

"The five of us Techs went will Lt Harrison to Fowley Street, we were given each a crime scene in a different part of the building, we were partnered up all but Jason do you remember that?"

"Yeah I do, Jake, I mean Lt Harrison said he was good enough not to have a partner, he also said I didn't need one but .. But I did have one, that's right, that guy, the guy that Jake told he wasn't good, what was his name? How could I forget about that guy, Natalie shook her head and made a note on her pad to find out about that guy. After a few seconds she turned back to Mattie

" Lets proceed with the days activates, something's telling me they are important to this."

" We finished on the clock with our crime scenes, Jake, I mean" Natalie was cut off by Mattie's words

"Its okay Natalie, everyone knows you two were seeing each other, and have been "

"What? No we weren't, not back then, not till after.. after.. after Jason left"

Natalie thought about the timing of things and she couldn't breath for a minute, she almost doubted Jake for a minute, did he do this, do this for her, cause the other guy, Jason Johnson was better than her, did he not give him a partner so he would fail, she shook her head this was ridiculous, she knew Jake, he loved her, he was a good man, he wouldn't take anyone's life on purpose, he did love her, could he, would he do something like this for her. No, she told herself and she continued.

" So we finished up, there were a few mistakes, Jake got a little pissy with the guy I was working with, what was his name? I can't remember it... Oh yes I do, Douglas Finney, that was it, so Jake got mad cause he said I did all the work and Dougie, sat back and watched as I worked my ass off, which I remember was true, what ever happened to that guy? Mattie, find out when we are done here, so back to that day, Jake told everyone that Jason had done the best that day and all by himself, that he was the best of the group. Better than all of us. That he had an eye for this kind of work"

Natalie sat silent for a few minutes just going over things in her head

"Then we all came back from the warehouse, we were exhausted, drained and we all went for drinks at O'Malley's, even Jason" Mattie said continuing with the facts of the day

"Even Dougie" Natalie chimed in

"What Nat?"

Natalie shook her head, Dougie, he was at the bar with them, she even spoke to him, "OMG! "She covered her mouth. All the pieces, the clues were fitting.

She remembers that night, how could she have forgotten it. "Dougie sat with me at the bar, he ordered red wine, he offered to buy me a glass, I told him I didn't like it that much, I was of a beer girl, we laughed, he was a decent guy, he apologized for me not being the best today because of him, I told him it didn't matter, he seem to be more upset by it than I was, we laughed some more and I told him it was alright, I told him although this was something I really wanted, that I would've loved to be the best today, that right now in my life it seem to be all that mattered the most to me, that it was still alright. He was very down on himself, he kept doubting himself." Natalie looked up at Mattie with her next question.

"What time did Jason have his accident? Leave the bar? Do you know? Is it in any of the reports?"

"He left the bar a little before ten and the accident happened on his way home, Natalie..."

"What?"

"You're not going to believe this... they found red wine in his system, lots of it, his blood alcohol level was extremely high, they found empty bottles of red wine in his back seat... it was ... it was the same type that the red wine killer has been leaving as his mark when he kills."

"Mattie... are you sure?" Natalie asked and Mattie shook her head, Natalie took a few moments to think about all of this in her head, she knew they were on to something, this wasn't a coincidence. As of right now she had two possible suspects in her head, Jake, or this Dougie guy. She heard Mattie speak and she turned to her.

"Did you see what time Dougie left O'Malley's?"

"A little before ten"

"Are you sure Nat?"

"Yeah, Jake came into the bar, he came over to us, he looked a little pissed, at first I thought he was jealous because I was hanging out with Dougie, but then he got nasty with Dougie for screwing things up for me, said I should've been the best today, and it was because of Dougie and his lazy ass I wasn't, Dougie left upset, Jake stayed for a few minutes, said something about getting a conference call in a few minutes at the station, so he couldn't stay long, he asked me out again, said we could see each other now since my training with him was over as of today. I agreed. He left a little before ten also." Natalie shook her head; these other facts still didn't clear either Jake or Dougie Finney.

Natalie sat at her desk silent for a minute, things were getting jumbled in her brain, and she took a step back, jotted down some notes before she would proceed.

Jake takes us to warehouse

Me and Douglas Finney work together

Jason alone

Jason did the best, he's the best

Jake's mad at Douglas cause he said he screwed up things for me

Go to O'Malley's

Dougie offers me Red wine, I refuse

Dougie is sorry about today, I tell him it's important for me to be the best

Jake comes in, Dougie leaves a little before ten

Jake asks me out again, I accept, Jake leaves for conference call at station

Jason Johnson wraps his car around a tree around, drunk off red wine

Finds bottles of same stuff killer left with his murder vic's.

From that day forward, I'm top of class

"Top of Class, the best, from that day forward, I was the best" Natalie told herself over and over again, still unclear who was the killer, she had it narrowed down, it could be Jake or Dougie Finney

Both Natalie and Mattie were silent for a few minutes going over everything in their head when Nat's cell phone rang, she looked at the caller id and it was John.

"Hey " Natalie spoke into the phone softly, happy that he was calling; she sure could use a little advice about this case right now.

"I did it all for you, I've got something of yours, get all your facts straight and come quickly, before it's to late."

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John woke to find himself tied to a chair, he still felt a little groggy from the sedative someone injected into him, he tried to focus but was finding it hard to when he heard someone speak.

"Nice of you to finally wake up asshole" John heard the voice come from behind him.


	17. Chapter 17

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**Chapter 17**

Natalie looked at her phone and heard the words playing over and over again in her head. He had John, it was John's phone he called from, the killer had John and she needed to figure out all the clues, which he was and why it was so important for her to be the best. She caught herself just as she was about to lose it, about to become emotional, emotional about him having john. She had to be on her A game today, she needed to be the best so she could find john, save him from this killer and put this psychopath behind bars where he belonged, she also needed to be the best cause that was what this guy wanted, for some crazy reason this guy wanted her to be that.

Natalie turned to Mattie.

"He's got John, I need to understand this quick and get to him before anything happens to him, lets go over the clues quickly, help me "

"Maybe we should call Lt Harrison" Mattie suggested

"No, I need to do this alone, that's what he wants and I...I.. haven't completely ruled him out as being the killer, if I call him and he is the killer John's as good as dead" she told Mattie and she brought out her notes from earlier today, she looked over them first.

Llanview

Note: I did it all for you, all for you, you should have stayed close but now you're here and so am I, a glass to match your color hair.

Female vic. found note in back pocket, ordinary paper

Llanview

Note: I did it all for you, you want to find me, you know where I'll be, back where it all began.

Male vic. fitting John's description, note on Philly forensics paper, LPD cap

Philadelphia

Note #1: to be the best you need to catch the best, I've made that possible now catch me... PS there's a present for you in the kitchen

2nd Male vic-- fitting Jakes description, on plain paper, Philly forensics cap, XL

Note #2 in kitchen: you have too many men but they can't give you what I can, eliminate them or I will and then we'll meet

Empty wine bottle, written on cloth napkin

Natalie quickly continued to go over the clues, one by one she said them in her head, she needed to figure this out, figure out where he could be and where he might have john. As she read the clues over and over again she couldn't bring herself passed one

"I did it all for you, you want to find me, you know where I'll be, back where it all began."

Where did it all begin? She asked herself

"The warehouse on Fowley street" Natalie said out loud and she grabbed her stuff, she told Mattie she was pretty sure she was right, her gut knew it and she learned to not ignore her gut, she raced out of the station. Mattie called a few officers over and they followed behind her to the warehouse.

Natalie raced to the warehouse as if her life depended on it, it did, John's life depended on it and that meant her life did too. He was her life and as much as she tried at one point to ignore that fact she couldn't.

Natalie arrived at the warehouse ten minutes later, she took out her gun and approached the front entrance, she stopped briefly, turned and headed towards the back entrance instead.

She approached the back door and noticed a note taped on it. It had her name on it and she quickly opened it and read it out loud.

"Good thinking, now lets prove you are the best," the note said and she entered thru the back entrance with her gun out and ready to shoot if she had to.

Natalie knew this wasn't going to be easy, she had a strange suspicion that the game would be continuing, she walked into the first room she saw and she saw it set up like a mock crime scene, just like Jake had it set for them with his preliminary tests. There was a note taped to a near by door, she grabbed it and read it.

"Do it alone, I know you can. This one is easy, look at the clues, which room do you proceed to. Which room will lead you to me, to him." Natalie said the note out loud as she saw a few officers that had followed her walk in to with their guns drawn. She walked over to them, as they looked around puzzled

"No!" she shouted at them

"You can't be in here, get out! I have to do this alone, I have to" Natalie yelled at them, they looked at her like she had three heads but they left, she needed so desperately to do this alone, she couldn't chance anything happening to John.

She looked around the mock Crime scene, it was set up like a living room, it looked familiar, it was the same scene she and Dougie was assigned on the prelim, the day it all began, she continued to look around it remembering the things they found that day, remembering all the mistakes they made that day, trying to make sense of all of this, trying to find John.

There was a clue in here somewhere, a clue that would lead her to him, to John. She continued to study the room for another minute or so and she spotted it, a bottle of Red Wine spilling out onto the carpet, she reached over and picked it up, there was a note taped to the side of it.

"That was an easy one I'll give you that, second door on the left" Natalie read the note and walked over to the second door on the left, she was about to open it when...when it just didn't feel right, it was to easy, her gut told her something else, she turned back towards the mock crime scene and studied it again, she walked closer to the front of the room and saw a coat rack with a jacket hanging on it, she pulled the jacket off the rack and underneath she found a Forensics Cap.

Natalie took the cap of the coat hook and turned it upside down, there was a piece of paper attached to it, she removed it and began to read it.

"You really are the best or maybe not yet, figure out what door I'm behind and then you will be"

Natalie continued to stare at the note for a few minutes, she was having a hard time breathing, she was starting to lose it, beginning to feel the fear come upon her, the fear that she wasn't good enough to find him, the fear that she wasn't strong enough to keep it together, the fear that something would happen to him. She pushed her fear, her emotions down, down deep, she regained her bearings and she turned looking at the three doors that stood on the one side of the mock living room, and the three doors that stood on the left.

"Which one, which one is it" she asked herself out loud, she just didn't know, she just didn't know which one to try and she was so afraid to try any, what if she tried a door and it was wrong, what would happen then, what would he do to John. The fear in her body was now evident as she stood and shook still not knowing what door to open. As tears gathered in her eye's, she again had to pull herself together, she was the best she had to act like it, even if she was trying to save the man that she loved she had to focus.

"Okay" she to said out loud as she moved closer to the three doors on the right.

"Talk to me" she said towards one of the doors, she studied it, looked it up and down, she crouched down on her knees, she studied the floor leading to the first door there didn't seem to be anything leading to that door, not even a foot print, she knew it couldn't be that door, she proceeded to the next, it was the second door on the left, the one the wine bottle clue told her that was the right one, she studied the floor in front of it, she saw something glimmer, her breath caught in her throat and she knew this was the right door, she put her hand on handle and she just knew, she felt him, felt him behind it, she turned the knob and as soon as she did, she pushed it open and heard a noise.

Natalie walked into the dark room, threw on a switch and she heard the noise get faster.

"OMG!" she choked out in a horrified whisper, she knew what the noise was; it was a bomb. She ran to where it was coming from, to John and Jake. John and Jake were sitting back to back, tied together with something. 'Duct tape' she realized almost immediately. Both men were gagged and she stood frozen from a few seconds before noticing the timer on the bomb that was taped across John's chest. It was moving quickly and according to the clock it had only three minutes left before detonating.

Natalie blinked, now standing in front of John as fear crept inside her body. It paralyzed her, she couldn't speak, couldn't move. She stared into John's beautiful blue eyes numb with fright. Their eye's met blue for blue, his calmed her, gave her strength, they said so much to her, his eyes'. They told of his love for her, how proud he was for her and his faith in her, that she could do this and that was all she needed to beat the fear down.

Natalie pushed her fear away and she took the rag that gagged him out of his mouth, still staring into each other eye's, she leaned around and took Jakes rag out to, she gave one last look at John, he mouthed a soft I love you and she concentrated on the bomb.

"Tell me what to do John, I've never done this before" she asked him and he saw she was calm

"Ok, Nat, look at the bomb, do you see wires?"

"Yes"

"How many are there? What color are they?"

"There's three, red, yellow and white"

"No Blue?"

"No, there's no blue is that bad John." When he didn't answer for a second she asked again, more urgently, " John is that bad?"

"No honey its okay, its alright but I need you calm okay, I know you can do this, I know you can"

"I know you can to babe" Jake said behind John, John shook his head ignoring him. He saw Natalie look away from the bomb for a second and look towards Jake; she needed to concentrate on the bomb, they were wasting so much time already.

"Natalie, Natalie look at me," he told her as her glassy eyes looked up at him.

"Just listen to my voice to my words, just do as I say. Do not hear anything but me telling you what to do, we are going to turn this bomb off together I know you can do this, it will be a snap for you and then we can move on with our lives, alright?" he told her calmly and she nodded yes

"Remember I love you and none of us are going to die today, not even Jake


	18. Chapter 18

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**Chapter 18**

"Now look at the wires Nat, pick one to concentrate on first, do you have one?" he asked and she nodded yes," good, trace it back, trace it all the way back to where the wire begins

Natalie looked at the white wire and concentrated on the sound of John's voice guiding her thru. Tracing it back to the detonator she sucked in a sharp breath. It was imbedded in a large rectangle of plasteque. The plasteque was hidden behind the large timer, but it was there. It was a soft, moldable clay like substance but it was also highly unstable. She had to be very, very careful.

"John its plasteque. What do I do?" Natalie asked in a soft voice as if afraid speaking in a louder voice would set the explosives off.

"Trace the yellow wire now. What do you see?" John asked in a deliberately calm voice.

Natalie traced the yellow wire back and saw that it was attached to a small metal probe stuck into the plasteque and also connected to the timer. Slipping into her professional mode she began to narrate to John what she saw. She then traced the third wire and saw that it too was attached to both a metal probe and the timer.

With John's help it was soon very apparent that this wasn't a complicated bomb. The yellow wire was the one that would stop the timer and disarm it. "I can't do this John!" Natalie said her clippers poised to cut the yellow wire. Her hands shaking and clammy she struggled to push back her fear of making a mistake. "What if it's the wrong one?" she asked softly and nervously

"Natalie, you can do this, I know you can, and I trust you, now cut the yellow wire, do it Nat, do it now" John told her as he saw her start to shake, she was starting to lose it again.

"Look at me Nat, Look at Me!" he said nice but then raised his voice.

"Trust me! Cut the yellow wire, NOW!" he told her and she did. The timer automatically stopped, all the noise was gone and when John bent his head down to look at the bomb timer, it was stopped at two seconds. He looked up at her with a small smile of relief forming on his face when he saw her jolt for the door.

"Natalie! Natalie No! Untie us first, untie us!" John screamed out to her as she ran off and he knew where she was going, she was off to find the killer in one of the other rooms, just how he had planned it, planned on her being the best and to be able to get thru the bomb.

John was still screaming along with Jake now for her to not go alone when they heard her scream back.

" I have to do this alone, this is about me, if I don't he could get away or we could all die, He's made me the best now I have to prove it" Natalie yelled back to both of them as she fled the room quickly, she didn't look into John's eye's before she left knowing they would immobilize her, that all she would want is for him to take care of this for her but this was about her, it always was, about her being the best, now she would have to live up to that title.

Natalie ran frantically to the Mock Living room again, there was five other doors for her to choose from and she knew he was behind one of them, that was the game and she knew it, he'd be waiting behind one of these doors, she couched down studying the floor in front of one the doors again.

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"Jake can you get your hands free?" John asked as the two men frantically worked on untying themselves so they could go help her find the killer; so they could both help keep her safe.

"I've almost got it, almost, there.. I'm free" Jake said as he ran over to John to untie him

"Just go! Go get her, make sure she's safe" John told him but Jake didn't listen.

"She'll be fine, she needs you more than she needs me, she always has " Jake told him quickly as he worked on untying him

Natalie continued to look at the floor and then at the door, looking for visible signs of entry or exiting, looking for a sign, to feel something. She quickly sized up all but one door, she studied the last door quickly but thoroughly, there was a small fiber stuck to the very edge of door in the bottom corner, she looked at it more closely, it was a piece of hair, a dark brown piece of hair, color she remembered Dougie having. She smiled to herself knowing he was trying to fool her.

Natalie knew this was the door he wanted her to think contained him, but it wasn't, he wasn't behind this door, she went over to the others, she was still unsure which it was. She looked at the doors and she felt something, a gut feeling about one, she moved closer without hesitation and went with her gut.

Natalie flung the door open as she saw the pride on his face when she did.

He had clearly been expecting her to find him. A split second later his head was blown off by a shotgun blast. Shocked and sickened Natalie took in the scene. Dougie was sitting in a chair close to the door. There was a shotgun set up on a tripod with a wire or string attached to the trigger.

Looking at the gun and wire Natalie carefully studied it, just in case there were other surprises waiting. It looked as if the wire had been attached to the door somehow. When Natalie opened the door the wire was pulled and the gun went off just as he had planned. Obviously Dougie knew Natalie would find him and he wanted her to be the one to see him die. He wanted her to find him, wanted her to be the last thing he saw.

John followed by Jake ran up behind Natalie as they all saw what happened to Dougie. As he killed himself, they looked behind him to see pictures and newspaper articles on the walls. Natalie started moving towards Dougie's body and the wall when John grabbed for her hand, she looked at him behind her slightly and she found even more strength in his eyes. They proceeded together, and they walked over to him and the shrine of Natalie on the back wall of the room.

Jake also followed them and none of them could believe their eyes. Pictures of Natalie everywhere, all on cases, on this case the Red wine Killer case that was put to rest today. They looked over a little on another wall that didn't have any pictures or newspaper clipping on it. It was blank except for the killers, Dougie Finney's last note:

"I did it all for you. Now you are the best." Natalie said out loud as she turned herself and brought her head in close to John's chest so he could hold her tight.


	19. Chapter 19

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**Chapter 19**

I did it all for you. Now you are the best." Natalie said out loud as she turned herself and brought her head in close to John's chest so he could hold her tight.

Natalie held on to John as he kissed the top of her head, she closed her eye's and continued to feel the warmth from his chest on her face, she sighed a sigh of relief and knew it was over, the case and the fact that she was the best. She wasn't the best, she could never be, she was too emotional to be, she couldn't even save Dougie Finney's life, although he was a killer and awful man who was stalking her and killing woman and men for her, she still felt like a failure by not realizing he would do this, this felt like her fault and she felt as ...as if...as a failure. John knew she was to silent, knew she was going to a place she shouldn't be going to, he knew she was what kept them alive, her strength and her willingness not to give up or crumble.

"Hey" he said as he pulled his chest off her face, he placed his hand under his chin and made her look into his eyes.

"You did good day Kid, really good, don't go there okay?...Don't go to that place of second guessing yourself, you really are the best...You saved me" He told her and she found what she needed in his eye's, his love for her and his reassurance of his faith in her.

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yeah, you did, this was your turn to save me from a serial killer and a bomb" he told her in a slightly joking tone when she smirked a little as her eyes remained glassy. He smiled at her, as he saw her attitude changing a bit

"You were so much better than me, you even saved Jake, not really sure he was worth saving but you did" John said as they both saw Jake walking around the scene examining things as a few officers came on to the scene including Mattie.

"I heard that Mcbain, next time I'll leave you tied up and I'll get the girl" Jake told john back as he passed them, Jake smiled at Natalie and then looked at John when he spoke.

"There ain't no way you were getting this girl from me, at least not without a fight" John told Jake as he focused his attention on Nat's lips, Jake continued to walk away watching them as John leaned in and kissed her softly but deeply on the lips.

"Can we get out of here?" he asked her

"Yeah, let someone else analyze this mess, I'm the best remember?" she said smiling as they walked away with his arm around her. Natalie stopped by Jake. She smiled, he smiled back.

"Do you want to talk now before I go or tomorrow when things are more calm?" she asked him, as Jake knew what was coming. John took his arm off of Nat and she walked quietly over a few feet away with Jake

"Now is fine, I already know what you are going to say, and I get it, I may not like it but I'll live with it, it will be hard, I've learned to care about you so much over these months but... but I think I will miss you more at work, I love to watch you work" he said and he smiled as he started to walk them towards John.

"Be happy Nat, be safe, and if he... if he.. If he won't give you those babies someday, come and see me babe, cause I'll give them to you" he said all of this as they approached John who wasn't quite sure if he should be mad, he just stood with confusion evident on his face. Then he saw Jake lean in and give her a soft goodbye kiss on her lips, John watched it and was about to get mad when he realized, realized he got the girl and he didn't even have to save her to do it.

John and Natalie left the warehouse on Foley street, they didn't even look back, they made there way to Nat's apartment, they walked in and without words she went to the closet and grabbed a few boxes she had stored in there.

"What's going on?" John asked her as he already suspected what she was doing.

"I'm going home John, where I belong"

"That's Good, then what?"

"Not sure.. I .. just know I don't want to be here, I was miserable away from my family,... I need to be back in Llanview and it's not just because of this case and the tolls it will take on me, I just want to be there, maybe start fresh sort of, does that make any sense, I feel like I'm not making any sense tonight." she told him and he walked closer to her, he removed the box that was in her hand and threw it to the ground.

"It makes perfect sense to me, maybe..maybe we could have a fresh start together, ...Maybe as husband and wife even" he told her and she looked at him teary eyes.

"What?" she asked him almost afraid for a minute that he would take what he said back, he didn't answer for a minute but then he did, he pulled her by her waist close to him, he looked straight into her blues as his shined back at hers. He answered her with his eyes.

"Yes" was all she said as he kissed her deeply and then picked her up and placed her on the couch, he started to nib on her neck as Natalie leaned her head back on the throw pillows and they made love.

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John and Natalie went back to Llanview the next day. As they drove back from Philly they planned there wedding, the wedding they wanted to have as soon as possible.

"Okay, we agree then, something small, maybe twenty people at the most" Natalie said as she started writing names in on a note pad as he drove them to Llanfair to tell her family she was home and that she would be staying home.

She looked over at him for a minute and she saw him get a bit serious all of a sudden.

"What's going on in that brain of yours Mcbain?" she asked as he hesitated at first.

"Nothing really but.. but.. do you thing you would mind if we... if we didn't tell them about the wedding yet, I mean.. We will soon but.. with everything that has been going on, I never got you a ring, it kinda makes me feel bad"

"What? You mean its bothering you cause you didn't give me a engagement ring, that's ridiculous"

"Yet, I haven't given you and engagement ring yet"

"Pull over" she told him and he got confused

"What?"

"Pull over John, the car, over to the side" Natalie told him and he did, then he turned to look at her

"I don't need a ring John, I don't even want a ring other than a wedding ring from you, that's it, okay, I want you and us to get married and that is all that matters, concentrate on getting me a wedding ring and showing up to the church on time and that's all I want and that's all I need" she told him as she smiled at him, he smiled back after a few minutes and leaned in and kissed her.

"I Love You Natalie Balsom, soon to be Natalie Mcbain"

"I Love you John Mcbain, soon to be Boss," she said and she smiled at him

"Are you hinting around for a Job Balsom? Cause you know I don't do the hiring, you'd have to see the other male at the LPD that isn't immune to your charms" he said and he kissed her again.

"You could at least put in a good word for me, right?" she asked him, he winked at her, put the car in drive and started back to Llanfair before he spoke

"We'll see how nice you are to me," he said smiling as they approached Llanfair.


	20. Epilogue

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**Epilogue**

John sat alone in his office; it must have been sometime close to midnight as he stared at a picture on his desk. A picture of the two of them; an older picture when he had just started to fall in Love with her. It was at Christmas time and she looked so beautiful, he how ever looked brooding in the picture as usual. He smiled to himself shaking his head at how he could bare wait, wait nine more hours to make her his wife, to commute to her, commit his love and his live. A commitment of a future of raising a family and growing old together, he knew he was still afraid of things, still afraid she would get hurt, but he also knew that the fear of not making the most of every waking moment with her was so much greater.

John was still caught up in thought when he heard a knock on his office door; his blinds were already closed cause he was going to be spending the night here, the first night away from her since they had been back home. She insisted because tomorrow was there big day. He heard the knock again and he called for them to come in, he shook his head having not a clue who it could be, the station was pretty empty and not one even knew he was here.

He looked up to see her walk in, she was smiling, he stared into her baby blue eyes as she approached him by his desk, she came around the desk in front of him as he stood. He smiled not having a clue what was going on when he saw her lean her arms down and shove all the stuff from his desk to the floor in one swept.

"What's going on?" he asked as he smiled and walked around the desk towards her

"I just figured maybe we'd get a jump on those babies you promised me" she said wickedly as she pulled him to her, kissed him passionately and gently lowered herself back on his desk, so they could make love.

"Hey where is everyone I'm home, Natalie, girls, Daddy's home where is everyone?" John asked as he came in the front door from a very long day at work. He took off his shoes and turned to hang up his jacket, when he turned back around and he saw them. His girls, his twin girls, their twin girls, they had innocent looking faces, faces like angels, faces with what seemed to be chocolate smeared all over them.

John laughed to himself knowing his two girls were far from innocent, they were trouble, trouble just like their momma all wrapped up in one.

"Well, isn't anyone going to say Hello to there dad after a long day a work" he asked them as they moved forward and grabbed onto his legs.

"Hey, Daddy" three year old Alison told her daddy sweetly as he continued to stare at her smeared chocolate face, then he looked over to his other leg to Abigail holding on tightly, she too looked up at her dad and smiled and said Hey. He continued to look down at them as he walked with them on his legs; they started to giggle as he asked his next question. The question he already knew the answer to, the answer that was all over their faces.

"Did my angels stay out of trouble today?" he asked and they both shook their heads up and down several times, John watched them and then he heard Natalie yell out from the kitchen.

"Who ate all the cookies from the cookie jar?" John laughed at her words, the girls stood still on john's legs as they saw Natalie swing the kitchen door open, she saw John, she met his eye's, her eye's roamed to the girls who were so innocently clutching to his legs.

Natalie tried not to let out a laugh as she saw their chocolate covered faces, she bite back her smile and she looked back at John.

"Think you got yourself a real mystery here, why don't you get your bag and canvass the area for prints" he told her and he couldn't hold his laughter in any more, she looked at him and lost hers too. She walked closer to him, she leaned down to the girls, one at a time, wiped the face a bit with her hands.

"Go wash up, its time for dinner" she told them as they smiled and left John's legs and ran to get washed up.

John pulled her closer to him as she stood in front of him, he took her finger that still had some of the chocolate on it, and he put it in his mouth and tasted it.

"Chocolate chip Huh? And they didn't save me any did they?" he asked, she smiled.

"Do they ever?" she said and she leaned in to kiss him.


End file.
